


Sense and Sensibility

by pastelwitchling



Series: Classics Collection [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Jane Austen AU, M/M, Malex, SOMEONE had to take those roles, Sense and Sensibility - Freeform, Sexual Content, and isobel as willoughby, brief mentions of abuse, brotp kylex, kyle x isobel, kyle x jenna, look i'm sorry, maria as lucy steele
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:21:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelwitchling/pseuds/pastelwitchling
Summary: Two brothers, Alex and Kyle, face heartache as they had never experienced once they move to the countryside of Devon. Alex thinks far too much alongside rationality and reason, while Kyle allows his passion to lead him. As they both fall in love, they must learn to balance their hearts and minds, while also holding on to the sacred brotherhood that exists between them.
Relationships: Isobel Evans/Kyle Valenti, Jenna Cameron/Kyle Valenti, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Max Evans/Liz Ortecho, Michael Guerin & Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Classics Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786372
Comments: 15
Kudos: 72





	Sense and Sensibility

**Author's Note:**

> Can we believe it's finally posted?  
> YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!  
> I spent FOREVER and A DAY working on this, so I certainly hope it was worth the wait.  
> "In this new rendition of the famous Jane Austen novel, K.E. Blackmare creates a twist on the much beloved original romance, writing love interests and heart-wrenching moments the reader will never see coming!"  
> Allow me to dream.  
> While rereading this to myself, I was worried I would be disappointed with the end result, but I am SO VERY proud of how it turned out. I don't think I could've done better. (That's a lie, but what writer is ever completely satisfied with their work?)  
> All right, y'all. I hope you enjoy. There's a link to my tumblr below, for anyone interested. If you like this story at all, please consider sharing and leaving me your opinion, it always means the WORLD.  
> I'm off to read some Percy Jackson.

_“Sometimes,” Alex confessed quietly, “I think I may be broken.”_

It felt like a lifetime ago now that Alex had said those words. A lifetime since he’d felt his lover’s naked skin against his own, since he felt the press of warm lips against his back, and a touch so deep and soft that Alex could not doubt he had a heart for it beat so painfully Alex feared the whole of London would hear it.

A lifetime since Alex had known what to feel. Now, as he sat in the back of a carriage on his way to a village in the middle of nowhere between Kyle and his mother Michelle, her head on Alex’s shoulder after having cried herself to sleep, and Kyle’s hand in his as his brother stared grimly out the window, Alex found it difficult to understand exactly what it was he was feeling. So, in his mind, he ran through everything he _did_ know. Facts, numbers, finances. A new home had been given to them by one of his mother’s friends.

_New home._ One step in front of the other, Alex reminded himself.

“The sky seems darker somehow,” Kyle said gravely, his chin rested on his palm. Alex saw a tear roll down his cheek.

Alex kissed his brother’s hand, holding it tighter as he knew Kyle liked, and followed his brother’s gaze out the window. The sky was blue, and it looked the same as it always did. Maybe he had been right when he’d said those words. Maybe there _was_ something broken about him.

“Yes,” Alex ended up saying, for the truth never seemed to give his family any comfort when they were sad. “I suppose it does.”

Michelle only woke when the carriage came to a stop. Kyle had his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun as he stepped out, Alex following behind, and their mother third.

The house was small with tall blades of grass growing against the walls and rose bushes just below the two windows on either side of the door. They stood atop a hill that overlooked a valley of white daisies below. The forest was to their left where Alex could hear the calm running water of a stream, and to their distant right, there was a cottage only slightly larger than their own with a hedge surrounding it.

_A good quarter of an hour’s walk_ , Alex estimated. He looked around at the low red-brick wall surrounding their new home, considering it.

“This will not do,” Michelle said, reaching out to touch a rose on one of the bushes then pulling her hand back with a _tsk tsk_. “This will not do at all.”

“It’s _windier_ than London,” Kyle said glumly. “ _Much_ windier.”

“But look at all the flowers,” Alex said. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

“Well,” his mother started hesitantly, “I suppose they _would_ look rather nice on the dinner table. What do you think, Kyle?”

“It’s not London,” was all Kyle said, and Alex hooked an arm around his, kissing his cheek.

“Imagine all the walks we’ll have,” Alex attempted with the most comforting smile. “All the picnics.”

Kyle made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat, then sighed most dramatically, “But will it be the _same_ as having the luxury of purchasing a pastry in one shop and popping into the other for a coat? I think not, my brother!”

“Well,” Alex said airily, “we can no longer _afford_ such luxury, my dear.”

Kyle glared. “Of course _you_ would say that! Having the emotional attachment of a brick! Not I! No, _I_ will not so soon forget about my London.”

“Oh my darling,” Michelle’s eyes turned glassy and her voice cracked. “Oh _please_ don’t be so distressed!”

“Come along, the both of you now,” Alex sighed. “Let us take a look inside.”

The three had no sooner stepped into the small entrance hall, the corridor wide enough only for one person at a time, and came into the sitting room than Michelle sighed, exasperated.

“It’s all right,” she said weakly, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief. “A little work, that’s what this place needs. Yes, a little work.” She huffed, and held her hands together against her chest as she took a deep breath and looked around the small place.

Alex knew what was to come next. His mother would not allow the boys to see her despair.

She smiled. “ _Right_. Well, obviously, we will have to cut that wall there, and extend the length of the room. Yes? Perhaps a reading room? Somewhere to fit the piano?”

Kyle raised a brow, some of the tension in his shoulders visibly fading. “ _Did_ we bring the piano along?”

“Alex insisted,” Michelle said brightly.

“Hardly, I merely deduced that our expenses would not be in need of our selling the –"

Alex’s words were cut short as Kyle closed the distance between them, and hugged Alex so tightly he lifted him off the ground.

“Oh my brother, my dearest brother! You did this for me? With all the money we could’ve made selling it?”

“Nothing we could not have made selling our delicate plates,” Alex said as he held Kyle’s face in his hands. Kyle covered Alex’s hands with his own.

“My beautiful brother, you _are_ sentimental! When does my piano arrive?”

“With our other things in a few days’ time,” Michelle continued, as if eager to be part of their happy circle. Kyle picked her off the ground as well and she laughed.

“Perhaps there is hope for you yet, brother,” Kyle said happily, and Alex shrugged, unaware of what else to say.

“There, you see?” Michelle said. “We shall all be gleeful again, my dear children. Perhaps _more_ so now, with the fresh air around us. Yes, we all miss London terribly, but we have a home with one another, and that _will_ be enough, I know it!”

Kyle agreed most readily, and Alex, knowing that his brother and mother’s moods changed like the wind – and was as high as the clouds whether it be sorrow or joy – simply nodded along, wondering when their next grievance would come, and what he could do to prepare for it. They never _did_ listen to reason, those two, and Alex found small comfort in that fact alone that never changed no matter where they moved to.

“Renovations are in order,” Michelle said, “before _anything_ else.”

“Mother, we don’t have the _money_ for such a thing yet. Remember what I told you? We must be patient.”

“How much _do_ an artist and tutor make, Alex?” Kyle asked, his happiness still evident in the way he walked around the rooms with his arms stretched out.

“Not enough for renovations,” Alex said firmly. “At the very least, not in the first few months. Perhaps by next year.”

Michelle seemed discouraged by this for only a moment before she took a deep breath and sighed slowly. She smiled, determined. “All right. Until then, we shall just have to do our best to make this the most lively home possible! And we still have so much to look forward to!”

“We do,” Kyle said. “My piano!”

“And Michael’s visit!” Michelle said, her joy more genuine with the mention of the man’s name. Alex blushed.

“ _Mother_! Why mention him?”

“Why _not_ mention him?” Kyle demanded. “Michael fancies you, and he _said_ he would come, so he _will_! _Although_ ,” he added in a grumble, “I would’ve preferred for someone more… _worthy_ of you, but you seem terribly fond of him.”

“I – I do not!”

“Oh? So you _don’t_ wish to see him?”

“Of course I do! I simply – I… I admire him very much, but there is no guarantee he will come. He _did_ leave the last time we saw him in rather a hurry.”

“My darling, don’t you see?” Michelle said, touching his cheek. “He was so utterly _devastated_ to know you were leaving. He will come for you, mark my words.”

Alex cleared his throat and looked away, the heat unbearable as it spread throughout his neck, cheeks, and ears. Michelle and Kyle went on excitedly about the house, about the plans they had, and Alex could only partly pay attention.

He could not smile as his family smiled, as they eagerly awaited Michael’s return. Alex had not told them, but the day before they would leave London, Michael had pulled Alex into the shadows and kissed him desperately.

He had rested their foreheads together so tightly that Alex feared the mark of Michael would be on him forever, and Alex would have been glad for it . . . but then Michael had looked at him with such dark, clouded, conflicted eyes. Something had been wrong, terribly wrong; not because Alex was leaving London, but it was something else. It _had_ to have been.

Surely, Michael had known that he was welcome in the family, that Alex _wanted_ him, that they could be together if they so chose, and Alex _chose_ it with all his heart. It was that miserable, _desperate_ way in which Michael held him that made Alex fear, as he always did, that perhaps _he_ was not the one Michael had chosen in return.

Alex huffed, turning away as he pressed the bottoms of his palms into his eyes. _Honestly_ , he scolded himself. There was no sense in frightening himself. Speculation often led to anxieties, and he had neither the time nor the energy to handle his anxieties now. Best to push past it, he decided. One foot in front of the other.

“Let’s go for a picnic, shall we?” he said, and his brother and mother both stopped their excitement enough to smile for him. He felt the heavy weight in his chest since he’d left London lift slightly. “I think we could all do with some fresh air.”

*

“It’s going to rain,” Alex said with narrowed eyes at the clouds. “Perhaps this was a bad idea, perhaps we should go back.”

Alex started to tug their mother back down the hill, but Kyle rolled his eyes and dragged her the other way, pulling his brother along with her. “Never fear, dear brother. I have an _ear_ for things like this, and I…” he made a show of listening intently, “do not hear of any rain.”

Alex laughed. “Can you truly _hear_ of any rain?”

“It’s a gift,” he said proudly, and Alex shook his head.

“You always say there will be no rain, and there is always rain.”

“Have faith, brother,” Kyle said, stretching the wide blanket on the hilltop. He inhaled the fresh air. It really was nothing like London. There were no buildings or print shops or bakeries in sight, no cobbled streets with its people bidding a _how-do-you-do_ as you walked by, no women in their dresses, blushing as you crossed their way with a smile. Though, of course, Kyle had no interest in such a thing.

_When I fall in love_ , he thought to himself, _it will be with one like no other_.

“It will be a love that burns the world,” Kyle said passionately.

“That is all I can hope for you, my darlings,” Michelle said. “Money is all good and fine, but I would much rather you marry poor and for love, than marry rich and unhappy. I married for love and…” her voice cracked, “I lived such a wonderful life.”

“Oh mother,” Kyle’s voice cracked as well, a lump already forming in his throat. He took his mother’s hand and held it to his chest.

Alex was lying on his back, a plucked daisy in hand. “Married for love,” he repeated without expression.

Kyle raised a brow. “Afraid you don’t know what that feels like?”

“ _Kyle_ ,” Michelle gaped. “You shouldn’t speak that way to your brother!”

“I’m only teasing!”

“I love _you_ ,” Alex pointed out mildly, his attention still on his flower. “I love mother. I’m fairly certain of that.”

“And Michael?” Kyle asked. “Are you _fairly certain_ you love him, too?”

“You seem eager to see me fall in love,” Alex noted.

Kyle turned away with a _hmph_. “On the contrary, I do wish you would have chosen someone a little more suited to you than _him_.”

“He’s kind.”

“He’s dreadfully dull.”

“He’s loving.”

“He’s polite, there’s a difference,” Kyle said with an air of resignation. His heart sank, however, when Alex’s already small smile dimmed.

“Is there?” he asked quietly.

“Er – for some people!” Kyle hastily added. “I’m afraid _courteous_ is all you can expect with love from Michael. Most people prefer passion, but not him! I just think you’re too good for _anyone_ , Alex, please don’t be upset with my fumbling for words.”

Alex laughed, surprising Kyle. “I don’t think you know Michael as well as you think you do, Kyle, for in the time I have spent with him, he has appeared to me rather sensible, charming, and very loving, rather than dull or merely polite.”

Something in Kyle’s chest settled when his brother smiled, the tone of the conversation changed. Kyle still remembered the first day Alex had come to them, when both boys had only been eight years old. Alex had been timid, shy, quiet. He had used words like “irrational” and “preposterous” even at his young age, and he had been so different from Kyle himself who cried and screamed at everything that Kyle had been certain that day that he and this new orphan would _never_ get along.

A week had passed and Alex had kept to himself, crouching in corners with his books, politely addressing anyone who spoke to him. “I don’t want anyone to feel unwanted in my presence,” Alex had explained with a small voice when Kyle had asked him why he humored every irritating soul that walked through their door. “Feeling unwanted is the absolute worst thing, I think.”

That had not been the first time Kyle had wanted to ask Alex how his parents died. And had not been the first time he had. His father always got a sad look in his eyes and his large brows furrowed as if a heavy weight was pressing on his brain. His mother always started crying and went to making cakes that she knew Alex loved.

Then one day, Kyle had found Alex in an alley between two buildings, helping a kitten remove itself from behind a large dumpster. It occurred to Kyle then that for all Alex’s talk of rationality, he was kinder than most people knew. Not because Alex didn’t want to allow anyone to see it, but because no one had ever taken the time to appreciate it.

That night, Kyle had held tightly to his teddy bear as he sat in front of Alex, the boy still curled up in his corner despite the large bed in the middle of the room, and asked him how his parents died.

Kyle might’ve expected Alex to cry or scream or get angry. Instead, the boy had merely blinked, as if he never expected anyone to ask him such a question, and plainly said, “My parents aren’t dead. My mother left us two years ago, and my father beat me so often every day I could hardly move at night. But they’re not dead.”

Alex had then flipped to the next page of his story as if they had only talked about the weather, but as Kyle stared with wide eyes, he realized _he_ himself had been crying. He thought of his parents’ discussions that he’d overheard late at nights before they’d brought Alex, about a boy his father knew who was slightly too quiet, slightly too stiff for any child to be. He remembered the way his parents had held one another as they’d come to a big decision.

Kyle had hugged Alex then, and Alex, startled, had patted his back as if _Kyle_ was the one to be comforted. He had never truly let go of his brother since.

“I will settle for no less than the absolute best for my brother!” Kyle declared, standing and pointing at the large, cloud-filled sky. “And _when_ Michael comes to visit us, I will make that clear to him!”

“Honestly,” Alex rolled his eyes, though Kyle could not miss the way his cheeks reddened. “Must you be so dramatic?”

“Of course! If you do not find matters of the heart worth protecting, I must…” Kyle’s words trailed off as he spotted someone in the distance. He narrowed his eyes. “Is that a _woman_?”

Alex and his mother followed Kyle’s gaze, but almost in that exact moment, the sky thundered above their heads, and a heavy rain fell at once, startling the three.

“Rain’s not _meant_ to act this way, is it?” their mother said frantically as they hurriedly put the picnic basket and blanket away.

“Rain’s not meant to act in any particular way, mother dear,” Alex said very matter-of-factly over the sound of the rain, but Kyle’s eyes were on the figure in the distance.

It was _definitely_ a woman, her long blond hair flying behind her as she ran down the hill, clutching her hat tightly to her head. Kyle took a step closer to her as she nearly stumbled over the hem of her dress. Who was this woman? Why was she out alone?

“Alex,” Kyle started to say as he felt someone take hold of his sleeve. “Should we –”

But Kyle’s words were cut short as the woman slipped with a yelp, and both Alex and Michelle’s eyes widened.

“Oh dear!” Michelle yelled, but Kyle was already running to her aid. As he neared, he saw that the woman was struggling to stand.

She glared at him. “Don’t you take another step closer,” she warned. “I have beaten away far larger men with my hat!”

As she spoke, however, Kyle noticed that her hand on her hat trembled, though whether that was from fear of a stranger or trembling because of the cold, Kyle could not say. He also noticed that this woman’s eyes were a very beautiful shade of blue. Not that such a detail was relevant now.

He knelt in the earth beside her, his trousers soiled by the mud, though Kyle could not bring himself to care. He put a hand to his chest and held the woman’s gaze.

“Miss, please, I live just down in that cottage there with my mother and brother. Won’t you come with me where you can keep warm?”

The woman followed to where he was gesturing, and her shoulders slumped ever so slightly when she realized Kyle really _did_ have his mother along, her expression betraying the slightest bit of relief.

Nonetheless, she held her chin up and said, “I cannot stand,” as if she was declaring herself to be the lady of the royal court. “Something is wrong with my ankle.”

“Your ankle?”

“ _Yes_ , my ankle,” she said as if Kyle was an idiot, then, as if to prove her point, attempted to stand. The moment she put any weight on her leg, she winced and fell back down. She impatiently pushed her hair out of her face, and Kyle felt something jump in his chest at the way her blue eyes bore into his.

“ _Well_?” she said impatiently. “Are you a gentleman, or aren’t you? Are you really going to just leave me here alone?”

“Er – I am,” Kyle said, then hastily added, “a gentleman, that is! And surely, I could never leave you here alone. If I may,” he started as he leaned into the woman, and tentatively brought an arm around her back, the other beneath her legs.

She had only a moment to look surprised before she realized what he was doing, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “ _Oh_!” she gasped as Kyle stood, carrying her in his arms. She smelled like strawberries, Kyle realized. _Yet again_ , he tried to think, _irrelevant_.

As he brought the woman to their cottage, he caught sight of Alex and his mother’s wide eyes, but Alex was quick to open the front door for his brother who could not use his hands.

“Oh how quaint,” the woman noted as she looked around, and Kyle carried her over to their small couch in their drawing room.

“Goodness, that storm started out of nowhere!” Kyle heard his mother exclaim behind him, but his eyes were on the woman who had stretched her legs on their couch, her soaked blonde hair clinging to her skin as she set her soaked hat delicately on her lap and looked around.

“Not much on the walls, is there?” she said, and Kyle had the strange urge to smile. So forward.

“We only just moved in,” Alex said, disappearing into the corridor. He came back with a thin blanket, and Kyle, understanding immediately, took it from him with a nod.

“May I?” he asked before draping it gently over the woman’s dress. She clutched the edges tightly between her fingers, warming herself.

“Just moved in?” the woman asked Alex, and blinked. “ _Oh_! You wouldn’t happen to be of the Valenti name, would you?”

“Why, yes!” Michelle beamed.

“How did you know?” Alex asked, and Kyle tried not to show how pleased he was. Alex so rarely acknowledged himself as a Valenti.

“Everyone knows who you are!” she said, smiling. Kyle’s heart stuttered in his chest. _Goodness_ , she was pretty when she smiled. “We don’t get many new visitors from London, Devon’s so _dull_ , you know, so we tend to pay close attention to any new arrivals. Once my brother heard you were coming, he was determined to let _everyone_ else know.”

“Your brother?” Alex asked.

“Max Evans, and my sister-in-law Liz. I promise you, they’re quite kind and joyous to be around, though they may come off a bit . . . er . . . well, I’m certain you are to make that entertaining discovery for yourselves.”

“Did you hear that, Alex?” Kyle turned to his brother. “And here we feared there would be no entertainment outside of London.”

“A fair concern,” the woman muttered, and held her gloved hand out for Kyle to take. “Isobel Evans, you may call me Isobel.”

“Er . . .” Kyle, startled, took her gloved hand. Too late, he realized he was still staring at her face, her flushed cheeks, his almond-shaped lips, her blonde hair, beautiful even when darkened by the rain (he wondered how much brighter it was when dry), and had yet to introduce himself.

“Kyle,” he said. “My name is Kyle Valenti, Miss Isobel. This is my mother, Michelle,” Michelle smiled kindly, “and my brother, Alex.”

“Alex Manes,” Isobel said at once, her eyes widening. “Isn’t it?” Isobel seemed to notice that the room had turned silent, and she looked to Kyle, her brows slightly furrowed. “Have I said something wrong?”

“Not at all,” Alex smiled kindly, his tone as calm as ever. “I suppose you’ve already heard, then, that I am the adopted son of the Valenti household?”

“Alex –” Kyle started, but Alex shook his head.

“It’s best they know the truth from the beginning,” Alex said. “I’d rather not have assumptions made about me.”

“I see, so you’re adopted then,” Isobel muttered, and Kyle realized he was gripping her hand a little too tightly. He could not say why he feared her reaction, why he feared she would disappoint him. He could not stand a single word against his brother, and he hoped he would not have to.

Then Isobel smiled and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. “Finally, something interesting happens in this boring place. I’ve decided. You three are now my favorite people in Devon. We shall have such fun together!”

As she said this, she took Kyle’s hand and held it tightly in both of hers. The corners of Kyle’s lips quirked upward. He looked to Alex, perhaps to know he was allowed to like this woman, to accept her response as appropriate. Alex seemed a little startled, but his smile was kind and genuine, and something in Kyle’s chest warmed.

“How very kind of you to say,” Michelle said happily. “Please, make yourself at home here. I shall make some tea to ward off the cold.”

“I shall fetch another blanket,” Alex said.

“ _I_ shall think to stay here,” Kyle said, kneeling closer to the couch, careful that his hand did not slip from Isobel’s.

“My hero,” Isobel said fondly. “Goodness, it’s all very romance-novel-esque, is it not? To carry me, as if a knight were carrying a princess. I was simply left speechless!”

“It did certainly feel that way, didn’t it?” Kyle said eagerly, his cheeks warm at the thought. “It felt very romantic.”

“Very novelistic,” Isobel nodded. “I must say though, what _luck_ for me to be found by our new residents! With you lot, and my brother coming to visit in a few weeks, I can only _imagine_ what fun I am to have. _Finally_ , as I said before, nothing _ever_ happens here.”

“You’re not from Devon?” Kyle asked.

“London,” Isobel exclaimed with a wistful sigh. “Oh my London, how I miss it so!”

Kyle’s eyes burned at the thought of his city. His cobblestone streets, his high buildings, his crowds and chatter. He said as much to Isobel who in return held his hand tighter in hers.

“At last, a soul who understands me,” Isobel breathed. “My family is far too pleased with the countryside, as is my brother, though I suppose that could be because of the rumors.”

“Rumors?”

Isobel was still smiling, but her eyes sharpened slightly as she said her next words. “Yes. You see, my brother is adopted as well.”

Kyle’s eyes widened. “Is he? But you didn’t mention that earlier?”

She glared, raising her chin defiantly. She made a _hmph_ sound and said, “Mention it in front of Alex as if it were something to marvel at? _Honestly_. And _why_ should it matter? My brother is my brother, regardless of the family name he chooses.”

Kyle stared. He was wrong, he didn’t _like_ this particular woman. He knew it in his heart’s heart; he loved her.

A carriage arrived not long after the rain had stopped, and after hours of talking and laughter and empty teacups, Isobel was whisked away to her brother’s home, but not before leaving Alex, Kyle, and Michelle with a promise of a visit from her family no later than the following day.

The carriage had hardly disappeared behind the hills when Kyle spoke his new revelation aloud, thinking no one would hear. Though perhaps the sheer honesty and strength of his conviction was enough to turn his whispered love into an echoed longing, for both Michelle and Alex stopped what they were doing, and looked at Kyle.

Michelle quickly turned to clapping. “Oh I knew it, I _knew_ I felt something between you two!”

“Isn’t that a bit… rash?” said Alex, his head tilted.

“The room drew _warmer_ with your presence, my dear!”

“You’ve only known her a few hours.”

“What does that _matter_?” Kyle asked, and wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist, lifting him and spinning him around. “When you know, you _know_ , Alex!”

Alex landed with a huff. “Well, that hardly seems rational. Shouldn’t you _know_ someone before you fall in love?”

Kyle, his thoughts consumed with beautiful blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair, and a beautiful smile, could only smile himself.

“And I suppose you didn’t fall in love with Michael Guerin the moment you spotted him?”

“I,” Alex started, turned red, and turned away to clear the blankets. “I simply meant that . . . well . . .” he sighed. “Suit yourself then.”

Kyle heard the concern in his brother’s voice, and his smile dimmed slightly. “Did you not like Isobel?”

“I liked her fine, she’s perfectly amiable.”

“ _Amiable_?” Kyle chuckled in disbelief. “She’s more than amiable. Didn’t you hear what she said? That our encounter was most romantic?”

Alex looked pained. “It seemed to me that she was merely making an observation. And she is quite right, your encounter certainly does seem like a meeting out of a love story, and yet . . . I just have a slight feeling that –”

“A feeling of what?”

“ _I don’t know_ ,” Alex shook his head. “What I mean to say is, do not prepare the wedding invitations just yet. Get to know her first, it is in both your interests to understand one another perfectly before you make any great declarations of love.”

Kyle nodded, hugging Alex from behind and hooking his chin over his brother’s shoulder. “Yes, my dear brother. As you wish,” he said, though he could not help the Isobel in his mind’s eye, the one who laughed as she spoke to him, who plucked at the hem of her blanket as if she could not sit still for a moment, who held onto Kyle’s hand as if drawing on his warmth. He smiled against Alex’s shoulder.

*

Isobel had said that the Valenti family should expect a visit the following day, but Alex certainly had not expected to wake to the sound of loud knocking at their door. He stumbled out of bed, dressed quickly, washed his face, and pulled a coat over his clothes which he was certain looked rumpled and pulled out of place.

He and Kyle shared a bed, so as he ran out, he nudged his brother’s leg. Kyle groaned into his pillow, but Alex did not remain to see if he’d woken. By the time his mother had come into the hall, patting her hair and dress nervously, Alex was already at the door. He straightened and opened to reveal a man nearly as large as the frame, his smile kind and wide.

“Neighbors!” he exclaimed before he took Alex’s hand and shook it eagerly. “Welcome, _welcome_! I tell you, I could not believe it when Isobel told me you’d finally arrived, we’d been waiting for you most impatiently!”

A small woman suddenly appeared from behind the large man, who Alex assumed was the large man’s wife. She bowed her head modestly, but her even wider smile exposed her excitement. “I was so thrilled, I nearly came to see you yesterday! But, of course, having just arrived, we didn’t want to burden you with any visits.”

“Not that we aren’t very grateful for the help you provided our Isobel,” the man said. “She will be arriving shortly after, but with her ankle, she’s taking a bit of a while longer than we were able to wait. I do hope we haven’t disturbed you this fine morning, it _is_ a fine morning, isn’t it?”

The pair said all of this very fast, and Alex was left blinking, not knowing what to respond to first. In the end, he settled with a, “Er – yes, it is.”

“Oh darling,” the woman hugged her husband’s arm, “even his _voice_ is beautiful.”

“A very beautiful man,” the man said excitedly. “Ah, and this must be your mother! What a beautiful woman as well!”

“Beautiful, _beautiful_ woman,” his wife agreed.

“How kind of you,” Alex’s mother said happily, for the couple’s joyous expressions were so infectious, and held her hand out for the man to take. “Please, call me Michelle.”

“My name is Liz,” the small woman said, greeting Michelle with a curtsey. “And this is my husband Max.”

“You . . .” Max searched Alex’s face imploringly, then smiled even wider. He was quite handsome when he smiled. “Must be Alex.” He chuckled at the surprised look on Alex’s face. “You don’t look like the Kyle that Isobel described, and if my sister has a gift for anything, it is an attention to detail.”

“Kyle’s my brother,” Alex nodded. “He’s still inside – er – readying himself. I shall go fetch him. Please, do come in.”

After Alex was assured that their guests were in good care with his mother, he hurried to his shared bedroom with his brother, while attempting to look as if he was in no hurry at all, and found Kyle had barely sat up against the headboard, his eyes closed as he attempted not to fall over.

“ _Get up_ ,” Alex whispered, shaking his brother’s shoulders. “Kyle, you _must_ get up now, we have visitors.”

“Visitors?” he yawned. “Who on earth would come see us so early in the morning?!”

“Isobel’s brother and sister-in-law.”

“Isobel?” Kyle woke to the sound of her name. He scrambled out of bed. “Isobel’s here?”

“She’ll be coming shortly. As for now, do dress yourself and come greet her family.”

*

“So _you’re_ Kyle,” a small woman that Alex had quietly introduced as Liz before they’d stepped into their sitting room said. “Much obliged to you for helping our Isobel!”

Her husband, Max, stood after her, taking Kyle’s hand in an eager shake. “Yes, much, _much_ obliged!”

Kyle’s smile turned a little tighter as he scanned the room for Isobel and noticed she had yet to arrive. “Isobel said she lived with you. Would she not arrive with you?”

He felt Alex nudge his back with his elbow, but Max and Liz seemed unperturbed as they sat back down and Kyle and Alex took their own seats. “Isobel came to visit us from London a month or so ago,” Liz explained. “She often works by her own schedule.”

“In fact, my brother is coming for a short visit as well,” Max said happily.

“I do hope you’ll bring him here then,” Alex said politely, but Kyle could think of little else but Isobel. He stretched his neck, attempting to look through the window behind Max’s head, searching the roads for another carriage. If only the man wasn’t so tall, Kyle might be able to see better!

“I think you boys will like him very much,” Liz said happily. “He’s around your age, you know. How old _are_ you boys?”

As Alex calmly responded to their questions, Kyle attempted to keep his gaze focused on the window and refrain from rolling his eyes. No sooner had the two finally visitors finally left than Kyle turned to his brother.

“Is everyone in Devon so inquisitive?”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked, placing the teacups on their tray. “They were very kind people.”

“Yes, I think so, too,” Michelle agreed.

“You’re only bitter that Isobel did not come,” Alex said.

Kyle flushed. “I am not! But did you hear the way they went on and on about their brother? They so clearly had their sights on one of _us_ for him! How insulting, to be regarded as potential suitors rather than actual people!”

“Oh?” Alex raised a brow. “Is _that_ what’s got you all bothered? That hardly sounds like you at all.” Kyle opened his mouth to protest, but before he could, Alex went on, “And just so you’re aware, they only mentioned their brother once. You simply stopped listening afterwards, it’s hardly their fault.”

“Fine then,” Kyle said heatedly, following his brother through the thin corridor and into the kitchen. “Since you’re so fond of the man, break Michael’s heart when he comes to see you then! Tell him you’ve fallen in love with an Evans! Tell him the man was oh-so-proper and oh-so-kind, and you simply could not resist!”

“Oh honestly, Kyle,” Alex sighed. “You’ll see Isobel again, I’m certain, there’s no reason to insist on such an irrational temper.”

“How calm and reasonable you are,” Kyle grumbled, and turned. It infuriated him – _infuriated_ – how little his brother could react. He snatched his hat off a hook near the door, and declared that he was going for a walk.

So prim, so polite, so kind. Kyle loved his brother more than he could say, and yet at the same time, it baffled him that he could. For years, try as he might, Kyle could _never_ draw any real emotion from Alex. Always so distant, always _insisting_ he was not a Valenti, that he was a Manes, and that that would not, and could never, change.

Kyle kicked a daisy along the path. After half an hour of climbing and running down hills, his thoughts calmed. His heart was no longer angrily racing in his chest. It occurred to him, perhaps, that his brother had been right to declare Kyle’s anger on account of not seeing Isobel.

But Kyle could hardly help such a thing! He’d been promised that he would see her again, and to be denied such a pleasure left the morning rather dim and pointless. Kyle fell with a huff underneath the shade of a large tree at the base of a hill. He took his hat off and ruffled his hair, letting his head fall back against the trunk.

He breathed in the clean, cold air. The longer he sat, the quicker his agitation returned, but not with Alex. With himself. He had turned his love to anger and had taken it out on his dearest brother. Kyle knew Alex would not be resentful towards him, he never was, and that somehow made him feel worse.

Kyle put a hand to his heart. This was what it meant to be in love, he supposed. To be so consumed with passion that he could hardly be anything else, that his desperation could reveal itself so easily that even Alex could sense it with half a glance. Passion had many forms, Kyle reminded himself. Anger, he feared, was only one. Kyle resolved to fight that anger from now on, for he did not think he could stand it if he ever pushed Alex away from him. Not his Alex.

“Pardon me,” said a soft voice, and Kyle opened his eyes to find a woman standing before him. The sun blinded him a moment, its light surrounding this woman in a faint glow, turning her blonde hair into a halo around her head. Kyle caught the sight of blue eyes and his heart stuttered in his chest.

“Isobel?” he muttered.

Kyle’s vision cleared. The woman before him was certainly not Isobel. Her expression turned kind, if not a little flustered.

“Er – no, I’m afraid not. I’m Jenna, Jenna Cameron.” She held her hand out to him, and Kyle wordlessly took it, squeezed it slightly, and let go. He had not gotten to his feet yet.

Jenna was staring at him, as if lost in thought. Her blue eyes made Kyle fidget. She seemed to realize what she was doing and looked away hastily, her cheeks turned pink.

“So sorry,” she muttered, “I’m looking for the Valenti household. Might you help point the way?”

Kyle tried not to scowl. Another visitor already? Didn’t these people have anything better to do?

Nevertheless, he thought of Alex, and sighed. He pushed himself to his feet, held out his arm as a gentleman should, and helped Jenna back into the white and faint blue carriage she had waiting.

“Pardon my asking, but are _you_ one of the newcomers,” Jenna asked when they were seated inside.

“Hm? Oh yes. Kyle Valenti, ma’am.”

“No need to call me that,” Jenna said, flushing. “Jenna will do.”

But Kyle, who had moved his thoughts to other things, such as his piano and how much longer until it arrived, did not care to speak to Jenna again until they’d reached the dirt road that led to their cottage.

Michelle had been working in the gardens outside, and looked up from the roses when Kyle stepped out, holding a hand for Jenna to step down. She gasped, her smile widening.

“Oh Jenna! My dearest Jenna! How good of you to come!”

Kyle blinked. “Mother, do you know this – _her_?” Kyle inwardly sighed. He’d almost called her _this woman_. He did not think Alex or his mother would’ve been fond of such rude behavior.

“Of course I do! As should you!” Michelle said, looking as if she wanted to hug Jenna and yet could not for she was covered in mud and flower petals. “Why, Jenna is the one who told of us of this cottage, _and_ helped us in procuring it. Without her, who knows where we might’ve stayed!”

“It was my pleasure to help you. Our husbands had been such good friends once,” Jenna said a little quietly, and despite Michelle’s dirty hands, Jenna took hold of them. “I would’ve kept you with me if it was needed.”

Kyle looked down at the mention of his father. He wondered why Jenna spoke of her own husband as if he were a thing of the past. Could it have been that he, too, had . . .?

Unable to face such a question, Kyle cleared his throat and asked, “Mother, is Alex inside?”

“Oh yes, yes,” Michelle sniffled, gesturing at the door behind her. “Go call your brother, Kyle, have him put a pot of tea on. I’m sure he’d love to meet Jenna here.”

Kyle did not care much for Jenna, nor did he care that she had helped with the cottage. As far as he was concerned, she had only helped in their leave of London. The last thing he wanted to do was stay and listen to the story of dead husbands, for he did not want to pity the woman that had made their decision to leave the city Kyle loved any easier.

He excused himself and stepped into the cottage, calling once, albeit faintly, for Alex. He tried not to show his nerves as he came into the kitchen and found his brother was leaning over the unlit stove, staring out the window, the lace curtains pushed aside.

Kyle opened his mouth, not knowing how he would begin to apologize for the way he’d spoken, when Alex suddenly asked, “Does she look familiar to you?”

“Familiar?” Kyle’s eyebrows rose. “Jenna?”

“Jenna . . . Jenna . . .” Alex muttered, his eyes narrowed as if trying to remember something. “Ah, Jenna Cameron. I knew I’d seen her before.”

He nodded. “She told mother about the cottage.”

“Yes, I remember when she came to see mother in London, but that was weeks ago.”

Kyle hummed, looking from Alex, to the floor, back to Alex. His brother watched him with a raised brow.

“Has something happened?”

Kyle huffed, his shoulders slumped. “Are you honestly asking? Or are you joking?”

Alex seemed to consider his brother, then after a moment, he shrugged a shoulder, and looked back out the window. “Alright then. Don’t tell me. We best get started on the tea,” he muttered, looking for the tea kettle.

As Alex looked, Kyle felt a smile tug at his lips. He threw himself on his brother’s back, startling Alex.

“Are you mad?!”

“You’re just so easy to embrace, I couldn’t help myself!” Kyle exclaimed, wrapping his arms even more tightly around Alex’s shoulders. “You smell nice, what is that, sugar?”

“Get off me before they think something’s wrong in here!”

“My beautiful brother!”

“Stop it!”

*

Jenna was everything Alex had hoped her to be. She was polite and kind, soft-spoken but also determined, her eyes glinting as she talked about helping the Valenti family with whatever they may need that Alex could not help but believe she was genuine.

It struck him as that much more exasperating, therefore, that Kyle seemed not to be paying attention to a word she was saying. He nudged his brother, more than once, when it seemed that Kyle was more preoccupied with the window than he was with listening. Jenna, however, did not seem to notice or mind.

“I _am_ very sorry to have come so early in the morning,” Jenna said. “I would’ve seen you to the cottage yesterday, but I had . . . urgent business to tend to. I do hope, however, I can make it up to you.”

“There’s really no need,” Alex said. “We arrived yesterday and went to bed almost instantly.”

“I can imagine,” Jenna said sympathetically. “It’s a long trip from London. I wish I could’ve given you more time to rest, I simply wanted to come invite you in person.”

“Invite us?” Kyle started, his eyes finally falling from the window. “To what?”

Jenna, Alex noticed, could not hold Kyle’s gaze for a single moment without turning a faint shade of pink. Kyle, however, did not seem to notice at all.

“I am to go to Whitwell for the weekend, a relaxing time away as we all need these moments of peace. My brother-in-law owns the estate and has invited me. He’s urged me to extend the invitation to my friends, and as friendship is what I extend to all of you, I – I do hope you will accept it.”

“What a kind offer,” Michelle said warmly. “Boys, isn’t it a terribly kind offer?”

Jenna seemed so afraid that the brothers would refuse that Alex wanted to assure her they would be happy to go, though as he looked to Kyle, he saw that the man looked a little more than unwilling.

Jenna glanced at him, hesitated, then, “I’ve asked Max and Liz to come, and, naturally, the invitations extends . . . to Isobel as well.”

Kyle’s eyes brightened. “Isobel will be going?”

Jenna nodded, though her smile turned slightly smaller, her eyes a little dimmer. Kyle’s smile, however, widened. “Then,” he cleared his throat, calming his voice, “I – I suppose we can go. Can’t we, Alex?”

Kyle’s hand tightened on Alex’s leg, though it was hidden so their mother and guest could not see. Alex pressed his lips together. In truth, he did not know that he was so fond of going himself, as he worried his mother would need their help here. Nevertheless, a weekend may have been just what Kyle needed to enjoy the countryside better.

He politely accepted the proposal, and Jenna left with a final glance at Kyle, her smile a little brighter with the promise that they would enjoy themselves on the trip.

“You could’ve been kinder to her sentiments,” Alex muttered as he watched Jenna’s carriage move further away, and Kyle blinked.

“Whose sentiments?”

Alex sighed and waved the question away. “Never you mind.”

“You look deep in thought,” Kyle noted. “Could it be you’re thinking of Michael?”

Alex flushed. How long would it be, he wondered, until he could control that? To blush at the mention of Michael’s name? “What a statement, why on earth would I be thinking of him?”

“He’s yet to come see us,” Kyle frowned. “What’s taking him so long?”

“We only just arrived yesterday,” Michelle noted as she carried the tray past them. “Perhaps he is making arrangements to come see us as we speak!”

Kyle straightened. “If it were _me_ , I would’ve accompanied my love until I saw that they were safe at the front door. Not wait to make a dramatic entrance.”

“You’re _always_ dramatic,” Alex noted, and his brother smirked.

“Well, yes, but Michael isn’t.” His gaze turned serious. “He should know better. I think I’ll write him and tell him so.”

“What a thought!” Michelle suddenly returned in a rush, and slapped Kyle’s arm. “Don’t you dare! _Alex_ should be the one to write him!”

Alex blinked. “Why would I do that?”

Michelle looked exasperated with her son. Kyle only looked as if Alex had slapped him. “Well, you _must_ reassure him that you’ve arrived safely! He might’ve been expecting word from you since yesterday!”

“Honestly,” Kyle scoffed. “Are you meant to be the intelligent one?”

Alex shrugged. “If it means so much to you, I will write him.”

“ _‘To us_ ,’ he says,” Kyle said faintly, and Alex rolled his eyes before he walked past them down the corridor. Before he closed his bedroom door, he heard his family say, “Mother, Alex will certainly need our help if he is _ever_ to see a proposal!”

“Quite right, my son,” Michelle said, determined. “Not to worry. Our Alex will be with his love soon enough, I can feel it in my bones.”

Alex shut the door, silencing the voices. Love and proposals, it was all too soon to speak of such things. Or was he the only one who saw the sense in such a simple request?

He thought of Michael’s smile, his bright eyes, his curls that caught the candlelight and turned to honey. Alex sighed, closing his eyes.

“Right, time to calm yourself now,” he muttered. “One mustn’t hope before everything is certain, and you are certain of nothing.”

 _But that is not entirely true_ , a rebellious part of Alex thought as he searched for a parchment and pen. He knew Michael valued him, that Michael held _some_ admiration for him. As he sat down at his desk before the window, looking out onto the vast grassy plains and the forest and the other homes too far away to properly make out, his mind wandered, as if it always seemed to do, to Michael.

Alex thought of afternoons spent walking through the streets of London, stopping by a print shop and watching the way books were put together. Alex thought of bakeries and alleyways, of bedrooms late at night when even the city had gone to sleep, and it felt as if only Michael and Alex were awake.

Alex thought of silk sheets against his bare skin, open kisses along his spine, bright eyes in the candlelight that watched him as if he were a priceless treasure, and hands that held him even more delicately. Michael’s eyes turned to gold in the fire, and Alex always wondered if he’d known that or not, and whether he should say it. So he never did.

Alex realized the ink spread on the parchment where he’d left the tip of his pen. He took a deep breath and began to write.

_~~My darling Michael~~_ – no, no, what was Alex thinking? He couldn’t send him such a thing.

_~~Dearest Michael~~_ – _no_ , that would never do either. What if someone else opened the letter first and saw such an exclaim? Not only would Alex be mortified, but so would Michael! And how would he ever explain the intimateness of such an address?

 _~~My dear Michael~~_ – Alex let his pen fall, and he rubbed his eyes, groaning quietly into his palms, afraid that his brother and mother were listening at the door. At the sound of muffled muttering, he knew he’d been right, and he sighed, slumping in his chair. _This shouldn’t be so difficult_ , he thought.

Alex took a deep breath, crumpled another piece of parchment, and tried again.

_Michael,_

_I must be going mad. I find myself struggling to write the words that I so easily can say to you. I have written and thrown away a multitude of parchment already, and committed an atrocity against the trees that have sacrificed themselves for my benefit, all because I cannot tell you what I want to, which is that I arrived safely to Devon, and am settled here in our cozy little cottage._

_Kyle and mother told me you would be eager to know that I am not in any peril and have not been robbed by highwaymen along the road, but I must confess that I was eager to write to you myself if only to say this; I miss you. I feel it has been an eternity since we have spoken, and yet I know it has been less than a week. All the same, I miss you, my Michael. I miss your smile and conversation, and while I will deny it until my dying breath before Kyle, I must confess that my heart leaps at the thought of you, at the thought of seeing you again._

_I cannot help but think of our last meeting, the weariness in your eyes. There was something you wanted to tell me, something troubling you, and I wish to know what it is. I will do all that I can to relieve you from it._

_I understand you are a busy man and must have much to tend to, but if you could find a moment to make the journey to Devon so that I may see you, so that I may feel your warmth again, I shall be ever so grateful._

_Forgive me, my Michael, if my words are too forward. I wish I could explain my yearning with reason or logic, but there seems to be none where you are concerned._

_Come to Devon, please come to Devon, and I shall never ask for anything else for the rest of my life._

_Your Alex._

*

That following weekend, Kyle had woken early in order to prepare for meeting Isobel. Alex was still curled up in bed, his back to his brother. Kyle glanced at him every so often as he dressed. Alex had been oddly silent in the past few days since sending his letter out to Michael. Kyle and his mother had wanted to read it first, but Alex had already sealed it and adamantly refused that it be seen by anyone but Michael himself.

And yet, as the days followed and Michael did not come, Alex had turned more and more grim. He smiled when spoken to, and humored their guests as he always did, but his smile never reached his eyes. His laugh never sounded genuine. Kyle placed a gentle kiss to his brother’s head, and tucked the duvet tighter around him to protect him from the cold before he grabbed his coat, slipped it on, and stepped outside.

Kyle stood with his hand on the door handle, thinking of Michael and all the reasons he could have for not running here at Alex’s words. His grip on the handle tightened. It was alright, he thought. Michael was surely on his way, or at the very least, he was simply too shy to come so quickly and wanted to make a grand entrance.

_It matters not_ , he decided. As soon as he saw his soon to be brother-in-law, he would have a few words with him himself. Kyle heard a knock at the door, and raised a brow. Who could be coming to visit them _this_ time?

“Goodness, don’t you people _sleep_?” he said irritably as he swung the door open, and his breath caught in his throat. Standing before him was the woman with blonde hair and bright blue eyes that blazed defiantly.

He breathed, “ _Isobel_.”

“Well, who else did you think it would be?” Isobel said, leaning over Kyle’s shoulder to peek into the house. “Are the others awake yet?”

“Not quite,” Kyle said. He resisted the urge to reach out and touch the woman. The sky was only now lightening, the stars and moon still visible, and Isobel wore a dark shade of pink. She looked like a dream. He’d waited to see her, and now that she was here, all he could think of was that her hair caught the sun and shined like gold, her eyes brighter than the sky, her cheeks rosier than the purest rose. She was a living painting, not really a person, no one Kyle could hold but a treasure for him to watch.

“Are you coming or not?” Isobel snapped, and Kyle realized that she had turned away from him and was walking down the path. He also noticed that there was no carriage. Had she come here by foot?

Kyle stammered a response and closed the door behind him before running to catch up with her. They walked the path along the hills, Isobel picking flowers out of the grass and twisting the stems between her fingers.

“Why had you not come with Max and Liz when they had first come to see us?” Kyle finally asked when the silence stretched on. “We’ve had to visit them in return, and your company – the _only_ I had looked forward to – I was deprived of. Explain yourself, woman.”

Isobel laughed. “I’d only _told_ Max that I would be following shortly and went right back to sleep. I was tired, and they insisted on making an early visitation! No, really, they were so eager to see you before the sun came up, and forgive me, but I _could not_ find the strength to ready myself at such a time. Was I wrong?”

Kyle acted as if he was considering the question, then, “How could you be wrong? I’d nearly lost my mind in such dull company. Er – not to insult your family –”

“Oh _please_ ,” she waved him off. “I cannot remember the last time I enjoyed my family’s company. No taste for the finer things in life – for art, for _real_ music! If society said Beethoven was a genius, then Beethoven is a genius! And why? I still don’t understand it. No emotion or depth. Not like Mozart. _He_ was a real genius!”

Kyle scoffed, crossing his arms. “Why, if the people all agreed that _Milton_ was favorable, we’d be hearing _his_ poetry all throughout the day. What a stiff man, he was. Not like Charles Baudelaire.”

“Oh I _love_ Baudelaire! Do you know, I met him only last year.”

“Did you really?!” Kyle gaped.

And it went on like this until Kyle heard Alex calling his name. He feared for a moment that it would mean the end of his conversation with Isobel, but the woman simply took Kyle’s arm and began leading them both towards the cottage.

When Alex saw her at Kyle’s side, his eyes widened fractionally. He waved at Isobel who, disregarding his polite demeanor entirely, ran into his arms. Alex let out a huff of surprise, and caught her around her waist before setting her down.

“A bit early in the morning for leaping around, isn’t it?” Alex said with a curious glance at Kyle.

“I did miss your proper properness, Alex,” Isobel said, ruffling his hair. “What a dull situation I have had. I visited my aunt for a few days, and she asked me if there was anyone in Devon I was enjoying my time with, and I so very nearly asked what difference it made as she was keeping me at her side in Cardiff. I had to had Max send a letter that I really wasn’t bothering him and Liz to be allowed back.”

“You left your aunt willingly?” Kyle blushed. “To come see me – er – _us_?”

“I would’ve left _London_ willingly to escape my aunt,” Isobel grumbled. “I was staying with my mother in London, you see. It was either come to Devon, or come to Cardiff. Wasn’t a difficult choice at all, was it? Say, Kyle, can I stay with you here until it is time to go to Whitwell? I never thought _anything_ interesting would come of Miss Jenna Cameron, and yet I must give her my gratitude. Her invitation released me from my aunt’s side sooner than I thought I would be able. She insisted, though I cannot fathom why, that I attend.”

“Did she now?” Kyle glanced at Alex who caught his eyes. He understood his brother’s silent message clearly. _Jenna insisted on Isobel’s presence for_ you _._

Kyle looked back at Isobel who’d gone to tidying Alex’s hair which she seemed to think was far too straight. Alex attempted to squirm away, but Isobel insisted the strands looked “more windswept, therefore more handsome.”

“Though I don’t think the village would know what to do with itself if you looked any more beautiful, Alex. You pair are a very attractive two, aren’t you? Has anyone ever told you that?”

Kyle felt heat spread from his neck to the tips of his cheeks and ears, while Alex looked unruffled. “Alright, you two, enough of your useless conversation,” he said, gently removing Isobel’s arms from around his neck, and nudging them both towards the door. “Best get inside and get some breakfast.”

*

Alex realized Isobel had come walking because she couldn’t be bothered with Max and Liz’s talks of what was appropriate, how it would be “improper” for her to come see them before dawn broke. She had told her brother and sister that Alex and Kyle wouldn’t mind, not if it was her, and Alex saw that Kyle was more than ready to confirm this belief.

He set a teacup in front of Isobel. “Nevertheless, you really shouldn’t have snuck off.”

“Spare me the lecture, Alex,” Isobel said with a roll of her eyes that reminded Alex of someone. “I’ve already got one brother giving them to me. I don’t need you doing the same.”

As soon as their mother stepped into the kitchen and saw the blonde woman with her sons, she broke out into a smile. “Isobel! What a pleasant surprise!”

“Isn’t it?” Isobel beamed, and the corners of Alex’s lips twitched. Kyle laughed heartily as he poured himself and Isobel another cup of tea, and then insisted on showing Isobel his music sheets. When Isobel realized he played the piano, she joyfully exclaimed, “So do I!” and off they hurried to looked through the few packed things they had left.

“It’s looking well, isn’t it?” Michelle whispered, nudging Alex with her elbow as he set some eggs on her plate. “They seem awfully close.”

“Yes,” Alex muttered, his eyes following the pair as they rummaged through the bound books together, gesturing at some of Shakespeare’s works and laughing with one another. “Awfully close.”

“Oh dear,” Michelle’s smile fell slightly. “What’s that tone?”

“What tone? There is no tone.”

“There’s most certainly a tone,” Michelle said. “What is it, Alex? What do you see?”

Alex hesitated. “In truth, mother, I have had my suspicions of this since first meeting Isobel,” he brought his voice lower, “and have only gotten more evidence towards it since.”

“Evidence towards what?”

“Do you not think that, perhaps, Kyle and Isobel are a bit . . . _too_ much alike?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Alex sighed. “They have the same interests, their idea of entertainment is the same, they speak in the same voice, almost going as far as to finish one another’s sentences.”

Michelle shrugged. “And what’s so wrong with that?”

“Perhaps it is my mere preference, but I believe a partner is one to challenge your ideas and perception of the world, to keep you moving forward and expanding your interests.”

Michelle glanced at Isobel and Kyle as if to make certain that they were not listening, and she leaned in, lowering her voice to barely above a whisper. “But, Alex, Isobel is a very lovely girl.”

“And I adore her very much,” Alex said. “This is nothing to say of her character, mother, it’s just . . . what is there left to _talk_ about when your partner agrees with everything you say?”

Michelle could not answer.

“I urge you to talk to Kyle, for he will not listen to me,” Alex said. “Simply tell him not to be rash in his affections for her. To love so blindly, and so quickly, it cannot be of any good to either of them.”

Michelle seemed to consider this, then her smile softened and she cupped Alex’s jaw, kissing his cheek. “You have a very gentle heart, my love, but you cannot worry for your brother so much. He is a grown man, he must know how to pave his own path.”

Alex had the feeling his mother simply enjoyed the match made between Kyle and Isobel, and was adamant not to see it end. Alex sighed inwardly and looked to his brother. Kyle’s laughter, his bright eyes, the way he seemed to lean into Isobel as if he could not help it. Alex told the pestering voice in his mind to be silent. Perhaps his mother was right. Perhaps he was simply worried for nothing.

When the time finally came for the three to leave, the boys kissed their mother goodbye, and set off with Isobel between them, nibbling on a slice of bread and cheese that Michelle insisted she take with her.

The group was gathered in the courtyard before Max and Liz’s home, carriages surrounding them, and when Max spotted his sister, his shoulders fell. “Isobel, there you are! Ah, out with the Valenti boys, I see. Is that where you disappeared to this morning?”

“I told you, hadn’t I?” Liz slapped her husband’s chest playfully. “I _told_ you she was alright.”

Isobel all but leapt to her brother’s side and might’ve jumped on his back if a woman Alex had never seen before hadn’t come out of the carriage in that moment and halted Isobel in her tracks.

“You are a _grown woman_ ,” she said irritably, grabbing Isobel by the shoulder. “Must you always act like a child?”

“Maria!” Isobel’s eyes brightened, and, completely disregarding her friend’s words, wrapped her arms around her, clinging to her. “You’ve come!”

“It’s like talking to a wall,” Maria sighed, wrapping an arm around Isobel’s waist. Her eyebrows rose as she spotted Alex and Kyle, her eyes roaming over Kyle once before they settled on Alex.

“Oh my dear,” Maria put a hand to her chest. “Is it really you, the ones all of Devon has been so eager to see?”

Kyle pursed his lips, and despite Alex’s own discomfort, he nodded his head respectfully. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Alex, and this is my brother Kyle.”

“Alex . . . Alex . . .” Maria narrowed her eyes, though her smile remained. “Alex _Manes_?”

Kyle straightened. “Actually, it’s –”

“Yes,” Alex said politely.

“A pleasure,” Maria curtseyed slightly. “Maria DeLuca. I can’t believe I’m really meeting Alex Manes and Kyle Valenti. What a treat!”

“You know of them?”

“Oh don’t look at me like that, Isobel,” Maria said with an airy wave of her hand. “Of course I’d know, even all of _London_ speaks of the Valenti family. Such a pretty pair you two are.”

“I said the same thing!” Isobel said with a fond look at the boys. Kyle beamed, but Alex held Maria’s gaze. Something about the way she looked at him was unnerving. He wondered. . . .

“Good morning, all,” Jenna appeared in a carriage of her own. When she saw Kyle, her eyes turned brighter. “Kyle, Alex, I’m so happy you could come.”

“Indeed!” Max declared. “It really wouldn’t have been the same without you, you know.”

“I can’t wait to arrive to Whitwell,” Liz said eagerly. “I’ve had Hannah prepare us the best foods for a picnic. You’ll see, boys, they’re _really_ quite exquisite.”

As the others fell into conversation, Maria came to Alex’s side, hooking her arm around his.

“I can’t quite believe we’ve come to finally meet, Alex,” Maria said. “I feel that I hear your name wherever I go.”

“From whom?” Kyle asked. “What are people saying exactly?”

“Kyle,” Alex warned.

“Oh no, it’s all good things, I promise!” Maria laughed, and Alex saw that it did not reach her eyes. “I would, of course, disregard any of the bad, at any rate. Mostly, people just marvel at the kindness of the Valenti household, taking in someone who is not really a Valenti at all, and treating him no different than one of their own. Not many people who do such a thing for a little orphan boy.”

Kyle tensed, his eyes turning thunderous. “How _dare_ you –”

“I’m not orphaned,” Alex interrupted, his voice calm, if not a little raised to drown out Kyle’s. “My parents are quite alive. But I’m sure it’s easy to assume that I would be orphaned. Excuse me a moment while I speak to my brother.”

He kindly unhooked his arm from Maria’s, and led Kyle a little distance away.

“Release me at once,” he snapped. “I’m going to simply have a word with her.”

“You will do no such thing,” Alex sighed.

“Did you hear the way she spoke to you?”

“Do calm down, brother.”

“ _Calm down_?!” Kyle gaped. “‘Not a Valenti at all’, _bah_! Why you insist on keeping the name Manes, I will never know. You are as much a Valenti as I am!”

“If that is true, then is there a need to be so upset when someone implies I am not?” he asked. “I would not take such words against _you_ with anger because they are meaningless. You _are_ a Valenti, that doesn’t need to be proven. Is the case not the same for me?”

Kyle clenched his jaw. He took Alex’s hand. “You _know_ what you mean to me. You know I cannot fathom my life without you, brother, but . . . I only wish you would react a little more, listen to your heart instead of your head. Otherwise, _everyone_ is always forgiven for every cruel word, and that is not something everyone deserves!”

“Don’t fear for me now,” Alex said, bringing Kyle’s fingers up to his lips to kiss. “Enjoy your time, take this weekend to get to know Isobel properly.”

Alex could not say what he truly longed to; that he could not be allowed to show his anger and despair now. For whatever reason, Alex could not say why, Maria seemed determined to upset, not both the brothers, only Alex. He couldn’t, and _wouldn’t_ , give in to her. If she longed to see Alex fall, he would do his best to stay on his feet and keep silent. It was the only proper thing to do. And, if he was being honest with himself, the one thing he detested more than giving in, was losing. Alex did not so easily enter a battle he knew he could not win, but as he seemed to be dragged into this one with Miss Maria DeLuca, he would not lose to her.

The entire party gathered quickly enough, during which Isobel remained at Kyle’s side, the two conversing with wide grins and mischievous eyes that implied nothing good. Alex kept close, as did Maria, though she seemed far more interested in sneaking glances at Alex when she thought he wasn’t looking, or whispering words of praise to Alex every now and then that Alex could not help but feel were less sincere than the last.

When Jenna appeared and smiled at him, he felt himself finally able to rest. At last, he would have a friend here to speak to, someone honest and genuine. Jenna seemed to feel the same as she reached for Alex’s hand. Alex brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them. Kyle did not seem to notice her as he spoke to Isobel, and Alex saw Jenna’s smile dim slightly.

Alex held her hand tighter, drawing her attention back to him. He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring nod, and let her hand fall from his.

“Well, well, this ought to be exciting, eh?” Max said goodheartedly. “All of us together?”

Alex heard Isobel snicker and Kyle barely refrain a laugh. The two’s heads were bent together, and Alex, unfortunately, standing so close to them, could clearly hear what they were saying.

“Yes, all of us together,” Isobel was saying. “The widow, the blunders, and the stiffs.”

“I might’ve feared for our company if you and I were not here, my dear Isobel,” Kyle said under his breath.

“At this rate, the only ones I fear for is _us_ ,” Isobel said. “We may just die of boredom and idle gossip.”

Alex thought it very strange that Kyle and Isobel could talk about dying of gossip when they could speak so of others. He nudged Kyle’s arm, frowning at him disapprovingly.

“I only jest, brother,” Kyle said, slinging and arm around Alex’s shoulders.

“Well, _I_ for one agree with Alex,” Maria said with a delicate shrug of her shoulder. “One shouldn’t speak so poorly of anyone else. It’s terribly inappropriate. Isn’t that right, Alex?”

“Er – yes, Maria,” Alex said. _It is also terribly rude and unfair, which is more important,_ Alex thought, though he did not say that out loud for fear that Jenna would hear them and get the wrong impression.

But Jenna, it seemed, was far too busy speaking to a man who had just come galloping on a horse. He was lanky and panting, a letter outstretched in his hand for Jenna to take. She had seemed to sense that there was something wrong as she recovered from her surprise quickly, took the letter, and tore it open. Her eyes barely ran over the first few lines, and absolute horror overtook her expression.

“Jenna?” Liz steadied her as she began to sway. Alex hurried to her other side.

“Are you all right?”

“Oh, oh yes,” she said faintly. “I – er – I fear I must postpone our trip.”

“ _Postpone_?” Isobel frowned. “What on earth for?”

“My deepest apologize to all,” she said without looking at Isobel. “Something important has come, and I must leave at this very moment.”

“Now?” Kyle asked.

“Yes, right now,” Jenna said, freeing a horse from its carriage. She lifted herself onto its back with Alex’s help.

“Jenna, would you like me to come with you?” Alex offered.

Jenna’s eyes softened, and her hold on Alex’s hand tightened before she let go. “No, thank you, my dear Alex. This is something I fear I must do alone.”

And without another word, she went galloping off behind the messenger just as Maria rushed to Alex’s side, looking utterly put out.

“Oh _dear_ ,” she sighed, “and I was just going to offer to accompany her as well! I’m afraid you beat me to it, Alex.”

“Kind souls,” Max said grimly, a hand on Maria’s arm. “How good of you to think of her.”

Maria shook her head. “Of course, it is but natural to think of others’ wellbeing, I think.”

“Oh, Alex,” Liz said, resting a hand on Alex’s shoulder, “please don’t worry, I’m certain she’ll be fine. If it was something so terrible, she would have told us, would she have not?”

Alex gave her a comforting smile, and covered her hand on his shoulder with his own. “Well, if it’s all the same to you, I think Kyle and I will return home now to our mother.”

“Oh, Madame Valenti?” Maria said. “I would love to meet her! If that’s all right, of course.”

Kyle looked like there was nothing worse than allowing the woman into their home. “ _As a matter of fact_ –”

“Certainly, it would be all right,” Alex said politely. “We would be happy to have you.”

Maria grinned, hooking her arm around Alex’s. And so, that was how the four of them found themselves returning to their cottage, their spirits lowered at the sudden change of plans.

Kyle kept offering his arm to Isobel, but she seemed far more eager leaping around them, placing picked flowers in Maria’s hair, taking Alex’s hand as she swung past, and laughing in circles around Kyle.

“Did you see her face when she left?” Isobel said. “So _dramatic_! Which I’m usually fond of, but this time it cost us a trip!”

“And here I thought she would be pleasant company for once since meeting her,” Kyle agreed with a laugh.

“ _Kyle_ ,” Alex scolded.

“Oh, don’t be so upset with him, Alex,” Isobel groaned. “He’s right, after all! Madame Jenna Cameron has been a terrible bore since the day she first came to Devon!”

“A terrible stiff, is what she is,” Kyle sighed, ignoring his brother’s eyes. “She seems to have no passion for the finer arts!”

“Tsk tsk,” Maria tutted, stealing glances at Alex from behind her fan. “How immature of the both of you. Isn’t that right, Alex?”

Alex looked down. “The poor soul wouldn’t be the same after losing her love, would she? I myself can imagine nothing worse.”

And in his words, Alex could not help but think of Michael. How he longed to see him, to hear his voice, to see his smile, to feel his touch. He could not place this dread that had settled in his chest since their last conversation, but he felt it would not fade until he got to see his love again.

Alex must have unknowingly voiced his concerns in his tone, for Kyle then turned to look at him, pulling him slightly away from Maria.

“Do not fear, brother,” Kyle said. “I know not seeing Michael upsets you, but he is sure to come soon. I can feel it in my bones.”

So moved by his brother’s certainty and desire to comfort, Alex felt the tension in his chest loosen slightly, and the next smile he gave felt genuine. He nodded, and Kyle seemed pleased with himself.

Their cottage soon came into view as they climbed the hill, Isobel on Kyle’s arm, and Maria on Alex’s.

“Oh!” Kyle gasped, and Alex followed his gaze. There was a carriage stopped in front of their cottage, the door thrown wide open. “Someone’s come to see us!”

Slowly, Alex reached out and took Kyle’s sleeve. The carriage was familiar. “Could it be . . .?”

But Alex did not need to finish his thought as just then, Michelle came running out, waving excitedly to her sons and their friends.

“Alex! Oh Alex, do hurry! Look who’s come to visit!”

If their mother had been curious as to why they were here and not on their way to Whitwell, she did not say. And as their mysterious guest followed her shyly outside, Alex understood why.

He released a breath he did not know he was holding at the sight of Michael, his mop of golden curls, his nervous smile as he regarded Alex, then the way his smile fell and his eyes widened at the sight of the women.

Alex’s heart nearly burst with joy at seeing Michael again that he did not think to question it. Too late, he will realize that he should have.

Unlike Alex, who walked the rest of the way, Kyle ran to Michael’s side with Isobel’s hand in his. “Michael!” he exclaimed, patting his shoulder fondly. “Took you long enough to show your face, didn’t it!”

“Michael,” Isobel blinked, her grin wide. “You know the Valenti family?”

Alex made a curious noise as he and Maria finally drew near. Maria’s ever-tightening hold on his arm had gone by unwisely unquestioned as well.

“Do you two know each other?” Alex asked, his cheeks red as he felt Michael’s eyes on him.

“I told you already, didn’t I?” Isobel said innocently. “I have two brothers, Max and Michael.”

“ _Brother_?” Kyle said incredulously. “How on _earth_ did we never know this before?”

Alex smiled. He wished he could be alone with Michael now, to feel his lips against his own, Michael’s hands on his body. Michael clearly did not enjoy being the center of attention, his eyes flitting to Maria every now and then. Alex wished he could reassure him, without outrightly doing so, that Maria was harmless. He seemed so utterly convinced she would suddenly unleash a sword and run him through.

Alex moved slightly, subtly stretching out his hand, the backs of his fingers brushing against Michael’s. As the others spoke of Isobel’s family, of how they had taken in Michael when he was very young but how their family had never been complete until he’d joined, of how Michael and Isobel usually spent the majority of their time in London while their brother Max lived here in Devon with his wife, none of them seemed to notice as Michael’s body tensed suddenly, of the way he hooked a finger around Alex’s, of the way he refused to let go.

Alex wished Michael would smile, that he would, at the very least, _look_ at him. He may not have been, but Alex realized that _Maria_ was watching him with an unreadable expression. Even though no one could see their hands, he pulled away from Michael’s touch, suddenly feeling as if Maria could see into his thoughts and hopes.

“Er – are you all right?” he asked, and Maria smiled somewhat shyly.

“Actually,” she leaned in, whispering, “could I speak to you a moment?”

Alex blinked. “Certainly,” he said quietly. “A bit later perhaps?”

Maria glanced at Michael and nodded, moving closer to Alex. There was no need for Maria and Michael to introduce themselves to one another, Isobel said with a wave of her hand. They’d known each other for ten years.

_Perhaps_ , Alex thought, _that is why Michael looks so uncomfortable that Maria is here?_

As Michelle herded them into the living room, Alex excused himself to make tea.

“I can do that,” Kyle quietly said. “ _You_ go sit with Michael.”

“Nonsense,” Alex said quite breathlessly. “I always prepare the tea.”

And that was how Alex found himself in their small kitchen in front of the stove a short while later, his back to the door. He heard someone come in, and, assuming it was either his mother or Kyle, said, “I’ll be right out, the water’s just –”

His words caught in his throat as he turned to find Michael in the doorway, quietly closing the door behind him.

“I,” Michael started, then stopped, then started again, “I told them I had to use the rest –”

Alex silenced Michael with a kiss to his lips, his face in Alex’s hands. Michael made a startled noise, but quickly melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist, pulling him in closer. Michael pushed him against the wall and began kissing his jaw, his neck. Alex’s head fell back, his eyes fluttering shut, and just as Michael began unbuttoning his coat, Alex gasped, and gently pushed Michael back.

“M-My apologies,” he panted, though it was rather difficult to focus with Michael’s half-lidded eyes staring at his lips. “I – I don’t know what came over me. I simply – I . . .” Alex laughed, “I’ve just missed you so terribly.”

He pressed his cheek to Michael’s, inhaling deeply at the way Michael’s arms around his body tightened, the way his fingers pressed into Alex’s back as if he could not bear to let go.

“And I,” Michael said quietly, “I’ve missed you more than I could have imagined.”

Alex pulled back, cupping Michael’s jaw. Michael turned into Alex’s touch, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to his palm.

“Is everything all right?” Alex asked.

“Alex,” Michael whispered, and took Alex’s hand by the wrist, kissing Alex’s palm more firmly, the inside of his wrist, each of his fingers. “You must know how I feel for you. My affections for you,” he shook his head, “they are without bounds. I feel an ache in my heart when you are not near, and if I cannot touch you, I feel my skin is close to burning away.”

“Michael . . .” Alex said. He felt such a love in his heart for this man, a love he did not think he could survive if taken away from him, a love he could only have dreamed of. So then why – _why_ – did this feel like a goodbye?

“Alex,” Michael said, his voice stronger now than Alex had ever heard it, the look in his eyes determined. “There is something I must tell you.”

Alex kissed his lips, holding on until he could no longer breathe. When he pulled back, he said, “Anything. Tell me, and do not be afraid.”

Michael swallowed. “Four years ago, when I was but a student –”

“Alex?” they heard Alex’s mother call from the inside, and the two instantly broke apart. Alex turned to the stove just as Michelle came in. “There you are, darling, is the tea – _oh_! Michael! I thought you’d gone to the restroom!”

“Er – I had,” Michael stammered. “Then I – I finished and came here, to see if Alex needed any help.”

Alex closed his eyes, willing the blush in his cheeks to fade as he carefully fixed his shirt and patted down his hair.

“Oh how kind of you!” Michelle said fondly. “Isn’t that kind, Alex?”

Alex cleared his throat. “Very.”

“Well, come along, dear,” she said to Michael, amused, “it is improper for a guest to work, as my son would undoubtedly be the first to tell you. Come, come.”

Alex sighed as a stuttering Michael was taken from the kitchen. Even as his racing heart calmed, Alex could not avoid the nervous leaps it gave when he thought about Michael’s confession. What had he been about to say?

Alex never got to find out because once he had returned to the living room, everyone’s attention was on Michael and Maria’s visits, on Isobel’s family, and on Jenna’s sudden departure.

“Goodness,” Michelle said with a hand on her heart. “I do hope she’s all right.”

Michael and Alex were seated beside one another, but would not dare touch each other with everyone’s eyes on them. Maria smiled politely, but Alex noticed her eyes flitting to the small space between Alex and Michael’s hands, as if determined not to let them touch one another for even a moment.

Soon enough, Isobel was saying that it was time she went home. Michael looked like he wanted to say something to Alex, but was told to hurry by his sister, and so they left together.

“Maria, are you coming?” Isobel asked.

“I’ll be just along in a moment, Isobel,” she said. “I only need to have a word with Alex first.”

Michael stilled, looking panicked. He followed Alex and Maria into the now empty drawing room. “What for?”

Alex blinked. Michael never spoke so abruptly. “I told her she could.”

“Rest assured, Michael,” Maria said kindly. “We can trust Alex.”

“Maria,” he warned, but Alex put a hand on his arm, and he turned silent.

“Michael, are you certain everything’s all right?” Alex asked quietly.

Michael opened his mouth to answer, then Maria said, “He’s simply worried you will expose our engagement.”

Both Alex and Michael froze. Alex turned slowly to Maria. “Pardon?”

Maria sighed, shaking her head as if amused. “Oh Michael, you don’t have to worry. As I’ve told you, Alex’s reputation precedes him. He is a man of virtue and honor, he would not expose our relationship if we asked him not to. Would you, Alex?”

Alex looked to Michael who was watching him pleadingly, as if urging a silent message to him. “Er – I – I’m sorry, _relationship_? Are . . . are you and Michael –”

“Engaged to be married,” Maria finished, her smile proud and fond at the same time. Alex sat down. “Yes. We’d made the decision four years ago.”

“Four years. . . .” Alex repeated, thinking back to Michael’s words to him in the kitchen. _Four years ago._ That was right after he’d kissed him.

Alex covered his mouth with his hand. He felt ill.

Maria sat down beside him, her hands on his arm. He wished she would not touch him. He wished his hands would stop trembling. He wished he could be anywhere but here.

“Alex, once I saw your kindness towards Max and Liz and Isobel, your compassion for Jenna, and your friendship with Michael, I _knew_ I’d finally found someone whom I could tell this secret. No one knows of our desire to wed, you see, for my mother is not terribly fond of the Evans family, and I shudder to think what would happen to her fragile mind if she found out that Michael is my betrothed.”

“Maria,” Michael said. “That’s enough now.”

“Why?” Maria’s brows furrowed innocently. “I need a friend to speak to, Michael, and he is all I have now. I cannot tell Isobel or Liz, for fear that the news will travel to my mother. And I feel a certain connection to Alex. Don’t you?”

Michael did not answer, and Alex’s fingers curled to fists. Maria moved closer.

“I know this has been a lot for you to hear so suddenly. I hope you can forgive my eagerness, but I have been so alone in my secret. Can you understand my desperation to speak to you?”

“I – er –”

“Maria!” Isobel called from outside. “Michael! Come along now, I’d hate to miss dinner because of you two!”

“We will certainly speak again, Alex,” Maria said, kissed Alex’s temple, and went to stand. “Michael? Are you not coming?”

Michael did not respond, and Maria’s smile tightened slightly. “Well. All right, then. I will tell Isobel that you will be a moment longer. Do hurry, I would hate to keep her waiting.”

Maria turned to leave, and as soon as she did, Michael knelt in front of Alex, his hands hovering over Alex’s own.

“Please, Alex, let me explain –”

“Engaged to be married?” Alex whispered. “Were you . . . only toying with me, then?”

Michael looked horrified. “ _No_!”

“Get out,” Alex said, and Michael froze.

“W-What?”

“Leave, Michael. I never want to see you again.”

“Alex, please, if you would just –”

“If you touch me,” Alex said numbly as Michael’s hands reached for his own. “I will scream.”

“ _Alex_ ,” he pleaded, “I beg of you –”

“Michael!” Maria called, and Michael winced. He hesitated, then stood. He did not move for a moment, but Alex refused to meet his eyes, and Alex felt the faintest brush of Michael’s fingers to his hair before the man disappeared.

Alex could hear nothing but the sound of his own breathing. _Engaged. Engaged. Engaged._ He felt as if the very ground beneath his feet was collapsing and he was being pulled into an endless void. He wanted to scream, but who would hear him? His heart hammered heavily, _painfully_.

_Sometimes I think I may be broken._ He had once said those words to Michael, and in response, Michael had kissed along his spine, had taken Alex’s lips in his own, had thrusted deeply into him as if he was a man worth loving, a man worth adoring, a man worth treasuring.

Alex felt broken all over now, and Michael was not there to kiss his concerns away. And to think, Kyle and his mother had thought Alex would receive a proposal. . . .

Kyle and his mother. Alex’s heart jumped at the thought of them, of their disappointment and heartbreak. If they were to know, they would cry and hold Alex as if the world had come to an end. And as he sat there with his shattered heart in his hands, tainted with lies and feelings of shame and guilt, Alex thought there could be nothing worse than pity now.

It is for that reason that when the carriage rode off, taking Alex’s love with it, and Kyle and Michelle returned to the drawing room, laughing about something Isobel and Maria had done, they stepped in to find Alex clearing away the teacups and trays.

“Well?” Kyle said eagerly as he threw himself on Alex, making him nearly spill everything in his hands.

“Well, what?”

“What did Michael tell you when you were alone?” Kyle asked. “I had Isobel call them, and hoped only Maria would come out.”

“Nothing,” Alex said in his usual polite tone. “We said nothing.”

“Oh _come now_!”

“Mother, kindly ask Kyle to stop asking,” Alex said calmly.

His mother beamed. “Kyle, leave your brother alone! What happens between two people in love is their concern. Though I do suppose you _must have_ spoken of betrothals?”

Alex stilled momentarily, cleared his throat, and shook his head. “Honestly, you two, are you so eager to see me leave your company?”

Kyle huffed, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “ _That_ is the sole reason I did not chase the carriage down and demand Michael tell me what you two spoke of. Once you two are married, you will _just_ have to come live here. I refuse to be separated from you for a moment!”

“You may not have to be,” Alex said with a sigh, walking past him. “I am far too young to marry, in my opinion.”

“Oh nonsense,” Michelle said eagerly, as if already planning the wedding ceremony in her head. “I see the love between you, there’s no keeping you apart. You mark my words.”

Alex placed the pot and cups delicately down to be washed. His eyes burned and his temples throbbed painfully. He supposed there was nothing to be done for it. He would allow Kyle and Michelle these moments of excitement, and tell them when the time forced it. For now, he would do his very best to forget Michael. It would just have to be done.

*

The following few weeks were a torment for Kyle. Isobel had yet to show her face, and when the Valenti family thought it appropriate to visit the Evans on the one night the Evans did _not_ come to visit them, Kyle asked, as he always did, about Isobel.

“I am afraid Isobel has returned to London,” Max said one night, blinking owlishly. “Goodness me, I thought she had told you!”

Kyle could have hardly believed the news when he had heard it. Isobel, Michael, and Maria had returned to London that night that they had come to visit, and not a word from Isobel on the matter! Why, she had hardly seemed to note anything worth telling at all!

“There must be a reason!” Kyle insisted to Alex and Michelle. Alex, unlike Kyle, had given no reaction to Michael leaving without word other than a simple raise of his eyebrows and a small, “I see,” which Kyle took to mean was his brother’s only abled expression of tormented anguish.

“D’you think she left me a letter, and I had missed it?” he asked, rummaging through the torn letters that lay on a tray near the door.

The door lay wide open, and Kyle could see the trimmed rose bushes and gardens, the daisies and lilies playing in the breeze. In the months since they had been at Devon, the small home they had come to know had grown in comfort and familiarity, but Kyle found that the longer he was away from Isobel, the less satisfying _any_ home became. He envied London for the gift it has received in her presence.

When he said so to Alex, his brother sighed, said, “Oh dear,” and returned to his sewing.

Kyle felt grief overtake him quickly, his love for Isobel apparent in every tear he shed, every morning spent too long in bed, every wordless dinner in which he moved his food around his plate with his fork and ate almost none of it.

Alex tried to encourage him to go out to picnics, to take walks, to have some tea, but everything reminded him of Isobel, her print on his life too strong to remove now.

Perhaps it was for his blatant and unquestionable silence and grief that Liz and Max noticed, for when they came to visit one particularly cold morning, their smiles were wide, their eyes shining as if they had just come across the greatest fortune, and had come to offer it to this modest family.

“We are to vacation in London this winter,” Liz said. “We had hoped to take the chance to visit my sister and father, as well as Max’s mother, for they all live in London, you see. And, well . . .”

She turned to Max, clearly on the verge of bursting with the excitement of her news. Max was smiling just as widely.

“We would like you two to come with us,” he finished to Alex and Kyle.

Kyle, who had been all but slumped in his seat, his thoughts of Isobel forbidding him any sense of patience or graciousness, sat up at once.

“ _London_? You wish us to go to London with you?”

“How lovely!” Michelle said. “Oh, you boys will have such fun!”

“How?” Alex asked, ever the rational.

“Our estate in London is quite large,” Max said matter-of-factly, “and there are plenty of rooms for you to choose from. We hope you will treat our home as your own.”

“London!” Kyle exclaimed, feeling a smile tugging at his lips. “Oh _London_! How could we ever –”

“Hang on,” Alex said. “We couldn’t possibly accept, it would be such an imposition.”

“Imposition?” Liz laughed. “My dear, you must know how valuable a friend you are to us. Why, I see you as no different than my own brother!”

“We dread going, for it gets awfully lonely in such a large house, even with our sister and father, but we could think of no better company than you two!” Max said. “And it is for no more than a month, after that we will all return here to spend Christmas together! Nothing is lost!”

“See that, Alex?” Kyle said.

“They are extending a very kind invitation, my son,” Michelle said.

“And for that, I am very thankful, it is only . . . well, we could not possibly leave our mother alone, and she becomes very ill when she travels, and so –”

“Alex, I am no child,” Michelle said, taking his hand in both of hers. “I can take perfect care of myself.” Kyle could not understand it. Why wasn’t Alex just as eager to go? Did he not wish to see Michael again?

“Mother, are you – er – certain?” Alex cut in nervously. “We would hate to leave you here alone. I think one of us ought to stay, in fact, and I don’t mind –”

Kyle’s smile fell completely now. “What on earth are you talking about? You _must_ go! And at any rate, I’m not going without you. Alex,” he took Alex’s other hand, “you _know_ how much it would mean to me to return to London. Please, won’t we go?”

Alex searched his brother’s eyes. Kyle only wished he could see into Alex’s head, read his thoughts. Why was he so conflicted? He wondered what it would be like to be Alex, to feel no pain at the loss of his loved one, to never feel as if hope has been taken away. He did not know how his brother could be so at peace with such a mind.

Alex sighed. “Of course,” he said, and turned to Liz and Max, smiling politely. “We hope we will not burden you on this trip.”

Kyle had to stand and excuse himself at once, his heart racing. He had to find the proper ensemble to wear, the proper flowers to take, the proper desserts to prepare as a gift, for he knew his Isobel liked sugar.

When he woke up the following morning, Kyle had already prepared what he would be wearing on the carriage ride to London, as well as what he would be wearing once they arrived – on the chance that Isobel would be there to greet them, or there to visit once they’d settled. Kyle had stepped into the kitchen for a glass of water, taking a whiff of the flowers he had gathered all of the previous night to give to Isobel – and he stilled.

Standing outside, her back to the window, was Jenna. Kyle recognized her instantly now, for he knew that while Isobel’s hair was straight, Jenna’s curled with tendrils that fell loose around her shoulders. Kyle found himself staring at her a moment, a white umbrella held in her hands, the sun shining around her golden hair, her white and blue dress giving her the impression of a kind angel. Kyle smiled slightly at the thought, realized what he was doing, and shook the ideas from his head.

He had hardly seen Jenna since she had returned from her mysterious sudden trip, for she spent most of their visits sitting with Alex and Michelle. Kyle hardly ever found a reason to speak to her at all, though he did find himself surprised and curious at her arrival now. Hadn’t she said she didn’t like to be a bother and pay visits at ungodly hours of the day?

When he opened the front door, Jenna nearly jumped, her eyes wide.

“Oh! You’re awake!”

Kyle held his flowers closely to his chest, as if acting as a barrier between them. “Yes. And you’re here.”

“I am, and you’re awake,” Jenna shut her eyes, “but I already said that, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did,” Kyle said. He leaned back on his heels, uncomfortable. How _did_ Alex speak so easily to this woman? “I – er – should tell you that if you’re here to see Alex, then we are leaving soon to London with –”

“Max and Liz,” she said shyly, “yes, I am aware. I was the one that suggested that a trip to London may do you some good.”

Kyle blinked. “Y-You?”

Jenna seemed to realize that she’d given herself away, and her face grew even redder. Kyle tried not to think of the warmth of her cheeks then. “Well, I – I only – you seemed so upset, I merely thought . . .” she sighed, shaking her head, as if resigned to making the worst decisions.

“Have I crossed my bounds?” she asked quietly.

Kyle realized that he’d said nothing for a whole minute, and quickly responded, “No! _No_ , I am merely stunned. I did not think you paid much attention to my moods. Alex tells me they change more often than the winds, no one can hardly keep up with me.”

At this, Jenna laughed. “You are _passionate_ , certainly. It can be frightening or upsetting, I’m afraid, but also . . . wonderous.”

Kyle’s heart skipped a beat, and he and Jenna quickly looked away from one another. Kyle cleared his throat. Had it not been colder outside only a moment ago?

Looking down at his bouquet of flowers, Kyle picked a delicate white daisy out, and offered it to Jenna. He was certain Isobel would not notice the absence of _one_.

Jenna looked startled at the flower, but slowly took it. As she brought it up to her nose to smell, her lips curled in a soft smile, her cheeks an even softer shade of pink.

Then her eyes looked to Kyle, and her smile dimmed slightly. “Kyle?”

“Yes?”

“Are you . . . happy?” she asked, then at Kyle’s raised brow, clarified, “With Isobel.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean . . . are you _happy_ with her?”

Kyle considered the question, surprised that the answer did not come much faster. In truth, he could not say he had been very happy this past time. It seemed that whenever Isobel was not there, the world was drained of color and nothing mattered, and when she _was_ there, Kyle could not act properly, but feared her next departure. But that _had_ to be a price of love, did it not? Nothing mattered but that person, nothing had any meaning.

He nodded, the words leaving his lips faster than he had intended. “Of course I am.”

Jenna nodded, her eyes casted downward. She delicately held onto her daisy, bringing it close to her chest, a gesture that Kyle realized he was no longer doing with his large bouquet. This time, it was Jenna who held the barrier up.

“Then, I wish you the greatest happiness, Kyle. I truly do,” she said with a kind smile. “And rest assured, I will not be bothering you on this trip. I wish only to accompany my friends.”

Kyle frowned. Had he really given this woman such a cruel impression, that he could not stand the sight of her? He thought back to his words on the day their trip to Whitwell had been postponed, and thought of the way his brother had looked at him – with such disappointment.

“Jenna,” he started, “I –”

“Kyle? _Jenna_?” Michelle came out, a scarf wrapped around her shoulders. “What on earth are you both doing out in the cold?”

“Michelle, you mustn’t come out in such weather,” Jenna hurried to Michelle’s side, leading her back into the warmth. Kyle silently followed. They sat down in the drawing room, and – to Kyle’s surprise – Alex had yet to emerge. He excused himself and went to their shared room to find Alex sitting on the bed still, his back turned to the door.

“Alex?” Kyle asked, and his brother quickly stood. “What’s going on? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Alex huffed a weary chuckle. “Nothing. Could you close the door, please?”

Kyle did as he was told, but remained inside. “Why do you not want to go to London? Mother will be fine here for a few weeks, and the cottage can be quite warm with the fireplace.”

Alex turned to Kyle as he was buttoning up his shirt, his fingers pulling on one button so much that Kyle thought it would tear right off. Finally, Alex said, “You’re certain?”

Kyle chuckled, unable to help but be relieved. And here, he had feared something had gone terribly wrong with Alex, but no, his brother had truly only feared for their mother’s well-being. “Of course she will. My darling brother,” he kissed Alex’s cheek, even as Alex tried to push him away. “You always worry far too much for everyone else. I know you must want to see Michael – think only of seeing him, and nothing else. That ought to ease your mind a bit, eh?”

Kyle patted his brother’s shoulders and turned to leave, unaware that he had destroyed whatever peace of mind Alex had woken up with by mentioning Michael at all.

*

The journey to London was not so different to what Alex had imagined. Kyle was beaming in his seat the entire time, engaging in conversation with Liz about the excitement of the city while Max and Alex conversed on Christmas plans, meeting Max’s mother, and what Rosa and Arturo were normally like.

“They’re very kind,” Max said warmly. “They will love you, I am convinced of it.” Which, of course, was what Max said about _everyone_ they ever arranged for the Valenti brothers to meet.

Alex glanced at his brother in the seat beside him. In truth, there was a slight concern he’d always had about London, aside from the multitude of concerns he had now in who he may run into, that he had never told Kyle of.

Alex believed himself a Valenti with all his heart, and his family had never treated him any differently. But London was a city run on gossip, and everyone knew who Alex was. A _Manes_ man – at least, so were the whispers Alex had heard. It was, in part, a reason that his heart had never broken quite as the others’ had at leaving London. The rumors didn’t usually bother him, but as he sat in that carriage, Alex wondered whether or not Rosa and Arturo, whether Max’s mother Anne, would truly be happy to see him at all.

Alex tried not to think of the speculations about his family’s past that he’d heard, the rumors of his own troubled ways and the horrors he must have committed, the horrors of his own father and brothers, how their own mother had abandoned them when they were young and how his father must have resented his children for it ever since. Whether or not any of it was true never mattered; Alex simply did not want to hear it. And now, he would once again be forced to.

_Perhaps it will provide you a good distraction_ , the logical part of his mind reasoned. _With the handling of the rumors, perhaps it will help drive Michael from your mind._

Alex kept reminding himself of that as he stepped down from the carriage, the large white mansion looming high above them.

“Liz!” a young girl with Liz’s raven-black hair and dark brown eyes came hurrying out, her arms outstretched. Liz screamed as they fell into each other’s arms, their hold on one another tight.

“Rosa! Father!” Liz beamed as an old man came walking out with a cane, his other arm outstretched.

“Elizabeth!” her father, Arturo, hugged her, then Max. When only Kyle and Alex were left, Arturo stopped to look them up and down.

_The Manes boy?_ Alex expected Arturo to ask, for everyone did at one point or another. Then Arturo grinned widely, nudged his chin at Alex and pointed with his cane at Kyle, and said, “You were right, Liz, they are _very_ handsome.”

He pulled each of them in to hug in turn while Rosa curtseyed respectfully. “Come, into the warmth, before we all die of frost out here!”

The dinner was warm, as were their beds. In the end, Kyle ended up choosing the room directly besides Alex’s, but when the time came to sleep, he left his own room and marched into his brother’s.

As they lay there, Alex already dozing off on his side while Kyle stared at the ceiling, Kyle asked, “D’you think Isobel knows we’re here?”

“Hm? Mm,” Alex hummed noncommittally.

“D’you think she plans to come visit tomorrow?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Alex, are you listening to me?”

“Mmm.”

Kyle sighed. Alex thought he was done for the night, and was just beginning to drift away to sleep when Kyle again spoke, “I keep forgetting.”

“Forgetting what?” he murmured.

“People’s reactions to you.”

Alex’s eyes opened halfway and he looked at his brother’s profile.

Kyle smirked ruefully. “Bit selfish, isn’t it? I don’t want to think anyone’s gossiping about you, but of course you must notice. I keep thinking that . . . if I pretend they don’t do it, then they’ll stop. A foolish hope, I suppose.”

“I think it’s a rather nice hope,” Alex said.

“Do not be kind to me, brother,” Kyle said. “I wondered why you had so many reservations about returning to London.” Alex said nothing. “I’m certain you were worried for mother, but . . . sometimes, I only think that if we force ourselves to forget, the world will, too.”

“Forget that I am Alex Manes, and not Alex Valenti?” Alex huffed a sleepy chuckle. “My dear brother, that is impossible. I _am_ a Manes. And, for better or worse, I was taught to be strong. I can be strong enough now. Do not worry for me.”

Kyle turned to look at him, and slowly, he reached up to cup Alex’s jaw. “I used to think you were made of stone. But that is not true, is it?”

Alex exhaled contentedly at the warmth, turning his face into his pillow. He did not respond, for he did not know _how_ to. He knew he was not made of stone, he could not be, and yet. . . .

Isobel sent no letter, made no appearance to see Kyle, and did not respond to any of his own declarations that they had arrived in London. Days passed, and wait as he might, hope as he might, Isobel never graced their front door.

Liz and Max, who had easily come to recognize Kyle’s fondness for their sister, could only watch helplessly and please Kyle with the occasional news of Isobel; where she _could have_ been, who she _could have_ spoken to last, whether or not she _could_ respond to Kyle’s newest letter. When spoken to in confidence, however, Max and Liz confessed that while they loved their sister, she had always had a tendency to leave their parents’ home and do as she pleased. If she was not in the mood to respond to a letter or pay a visit, she would not bother.

More than once, Max and Liz had taken Kyle and Alex to meet Max’s mother, Anne, but every time, Isobel was either out with a friend, or out taking one class or another. Kyle left word after word for her, but she responded to none.

More than a week had already passed, and still, Isobel made no appearance.

Alex watched from the doorway of his bedroom as Kyle scribbled another letter under candlelight. “She will surely respond to this one,” he said to Alex’s unasked question. “She _must_.” And to this, Alex could think of nothing to say.

Within the next few days, a letter for Kyle arrived.

_Ravenwood Manor, 8 o’clock, Friday._

Kyle looked up, his brows furrowed. “I don’t understand. Does she want to meet with me?”

“Oh!” Liz was looking over Kyle’s shoulder at the letter. “I know that address! There’s a ball there tomorrow evening!”

“A ball?” Kyle blinked.

“Yes, we had all been invited to go! Had I not mentioned that?”

“I don’t think so, darling,” Max said, handing her and Alex a cup of tea. “There you go, my dear boy.”

“Thank you,” Alex said politely. “So Isobel wants you to meet her at the ball? Why not simply come see you here?”

“You may have noticed,” Rosa said with a scoff as she handed Kyle his own cup of tea, “but Isobel would much rather do what pleases her than what she ought to.” She pulled Alex’s arm, and muttered, “It was fun when we were children, but one could argue she has turned a bit too careless with other people’s feelings. If I were you, Alex, I would not let my brother go to that ball.”

Alex took a deep breath, and looked to Kyle who looked equal parts nervous and eager.

“Alex,” Kyle said hopefully. “You’ll come with me, won’t you?”

Alex glanced at Rosa, and nodded, smiling. “Of course.”

“We’ll all go!” Arturo said, stepping in. “We could use a night out, eh?”

Alex did not mention then that they had had a night out, or friends in, every day since coming to London. Kyle looked so pleased, the letter clutched tightly to his chest, that Alex thought the only way he could possibly protect his brother now was by preparing to catch him if the need arose, and Alex had the horrible feeling it would.

For the ball the next evening, Kyle dressed in his best white suit with golden cuffs. He held Alex’s hand tightly in the carriage ride to the large manor, and only let go once their party had gone past the threshold.

“Do you see her?” he asked nervously, looking over the heads of the other guests.

“Not yet,” Alex said, hoping he himself did not run into Michael. Michael had been avoiding him, a realization that had not stung in the least, and worked perfectly well as Alex had hoped to avoid Michael as well.

“Come,” Alex tugged on his brother’s arm to follow Max and Liz, “let us go sit down. Perhaps she is looking for us. Best not to make the task difficult for her.”

In the end, Kyle listened to Alex only because several women had spotted them and pressed close against them. As Alex sat down, Kyle asked, “Do you have _any_ interest in women at all?”

Alex pursed his lips. In truth, he’d never spoken of his attractions to anyone, not even Michael. He shook his head, and Kyle nodded. “Then we’re best kept here.”

Their table was full, not allowing for anyone in the group of women in the corner watching them that may have wished to join. Liz and Max were chatting amiably, Rosa and Arturo were discussing something to do with their gardens, Jenna was sitting to Alex’s left, looking very pretty in a faint blue dress, her hair curled at the top of her head, and Kyle was sitting to Alex’s right, raising himself in his seat to look over the crowd, searching for one woman in particular.

“How are you, Alex?” Jenna asked kindly, and Alex smiled to her.

“Very well, thank you. And yourself?”

“Very well,” she nodded, glancing at Kyle. “Er – Alex, I was wondering if I may speak to you about –”

Kyle gasped, suddenly clutching Alex’s arm. “There she is, there she is!”

Before Alex could react, Kyle stood and called, “Isobel!”

Several heads turned, but Alex was too late to hold onto Kyle as his brother leapt out of his seat and hurried across the room. Isobel had been laughing with her friend, but at the sight of Kyle, she turned to him, and greeted him most eagerly.

“You’ve come!” Alex heard Isobel say, for he had gotten up to stand halfway between his friends and his brother. “Oh,” she tilted her head to look over Kyle’s shoulder at Alex and the others. She snickered. “And you’ve brought the rest of the lot, I see.”

“Er –” Kyle looked over his shoulder at his friends and brother. “Yes. We were all invited. Didn’t you know?”

Isobel shrugged, and turned back to speaking to her friend. Alex slowly came around to see Kyle’s expression fall. “Isobel, where have you been?” he asked. “I’ve sent you several letters, and you had not responded to any. Not – not that I am angry, I’m certain you had your reasons.”

“ _Kyle_ ,” Isobel said, turning away from her friend again, somewhat exasperated. “Honestly, can you – go over _there_? Can’t you see I’m preoccupied here?”

Kyle’s smile fell away completely now. “But . . . you invited me to meet you.”

“ _Meet me_?” she laughed, and held his face in her hands. “Oh my dear friend, you asked me where I was, and I told you. If I had known I would be expected to humor you all night, I would have kept my location secret,” she laughed and kissed his forehead. “We’re in _London_ now. We have more entertainment than each other.”

Following her friends, Isobel disappeared into the crowd, and Kyle was left standing with his eyes wide and his mouth set in a grim line.

Alex approached slowly. “Kyle?”

“Entertainment?” Kyle whispered, yet somehow, Alex heard him clearly. “Is that what I was to her? Entertainment?”

Max and Liz came up with Jenna quietly behind, her concerned eyes on Kyle. “What’s happened?” Liz asked. “What did Isobel say?”

“I would like to go home now, Alex,” Kyle said abruptly, and made his way to the door. Alex glanced at the others, the way their expressions fell, before they all quickly followed.

The ride home was spent in utter silence, with Max in the front with the coachman while Jenna sat across from Alex, and Liz across from Kyle. Both women looked to Alex for an explanation, but he quietly gestured that he would tell them later. Kyle’s fingers were curled to fists on his lap, and his jaw was tight, and Alex feared that _any_ words of comfort now would only be met with anger.

Before the carriage even stopped, Kyle leapt out, ran inside, and went upstairs to his room which he locked and forbade anyone, even Alex, from entering.

“What in the bloody hell happened?” Max asked.

“Er . . .” Alex cleared his throat. “There was a bit of a disagreement between them,” he said. “It seems each had misunderstood the nature of their relationship.”

Alex said no more than that, but it seemed that was all he had needed, for no one looked terribly shocked at the news, only disappointed.

Unable to take their expressions any longer, Alex excused himself for the night, and instead of returning to his own room, came to Kyle’s front door. He knocked softly, but all he could hear was silence.

With a sigh, Alex sat down outside the door, his knees pulled up to his chest. “I’m not leaving you,” he said quietly, knowing Kyle would hear him. “I’m right out here, if you need me.”

The following week passed as quietly as Alex could have ever imagined. Liz, Max, Rosa, and Arturo were so kind, Alex could only be touched by their genuine care in Kyle and their worry that he had suffered a broken heart.

Several times, Max came to sit with Alex outside Kyle’s door, bringing trays of food or cards to play or the newspaper for the two to read. Liz helped Alex prepare meals to give Kyle for the few seconds he would allow entrance into his room, and brought him more blankets and pillows when the nights turned colder. Rosa would play the piano in the large library on the first floor, the music playing throughout the manor soothing and beautiful, and Arturo, who enjoyed baking more than anything, prepared the most exquisite pastries Alex had ever tasted, hoping it would raise Kyle’s spirits.

In the end, nothing worked. Kyle was as silent and broken as ever before. Alex had sent word to their mother of the events, and his mother’s response had been brokenhearted and angry.

 _“I always knew that woman was not to be trusted,”_ Michelle had written. _“I’d told you, hadn’t I, Alex, that we ought to be careful with her?”_

Unwilling to disagree with his mother, Alex merely asked her if the time had come for them to leave London, which he had to confess, he had been all too willing to do. His mother, unfortunately, said that with but a fortnight of the trip left, there was no point in returning so soon. Alex, to his dismay, could think of no reason to argue.

It was that night, as Alex was nodding off against the wall, that he heard his brother’s moaning. He leapt to his feet, his eyes wide, and forced the door open. “Kyle?!”

Kyle was thrashing in his bed, in a cold sweat, his eyes shut tight. “Kyle, calm yourself!” But as soon as Alex touched his brother, he gasped. Kyle’s skin was burning.

“What’s happened? What’s going on?” Arturo came running in with Liz behind him in her nightgown.

“He has a terrible fever,” Alex said, sitting beside Kyle on the bed, attempting to keep him still. “I think he’s having hallucinations.”

Kyle was moaning Isobel’s name miserably, gasping and pleading for their mother, for Alex, for help.

Alex took his hand and kissed it. “I’m right here, brother. I won’t leave you!”

“We need a physician,” Arturo said urgently. “Max, quickly, send word to Dr. Bracken, tell him it’s an emergency!”

“Yes, father,” Max, who had just entered, said, and ran back out.

Alex paced outside Kyle’s front door, having not been allowed in once the physician had arrived. Rosa offered him a scarf around his shoulders, and he stood against the wall, tightly gripping her hand for only a moment before he was pacing again.

He should have spoken his mind, his concerns. He _should have_ told Kyle what he really thought of his quick attachment to Isobel, that it had been unwise – but the more he thought of it, the more Alex could imagine his brother’s reaction.

“You worry far too much, brother,” Kyle would have said. “What dangers could possibly lie in love?”

_Too many_ , Alex thought. The heart, it turned out, could be broken far too easily. Perhaps it was best not to fall in love at all, to feel _nothing_.

Right then, Dr. Bracken stepped out, and Alex was pulled out of his thoughts.

“Is he all right?” Alex asked at once.

The physician nodded. “He has calmed. I gave him some medication, he should be better by morning. As for now, he needs rest. I implore no one bother him or bring any news that may be upsetting.”

The others nodded, and he turned to Alex. “He is asking for you. You are his brother, I assume?”

“Yes,” Alex said.

“I will return by noon tomorrow to check on him.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Alex said, and rushed in to see his brother lying on his bed, his eyes halfway open, staring out the window. Gently, Alex came to his bedside and sat down.

“I want to go home,” Kyle croaked.

Alex nodded. “There is not much of the trip left. We will leave in a little over a week.”

“No,” Kyle shut his eyes. “Now. I want to leave _now_ , I can no longer stand seeing these people’s faces.”

Alex’s brows furrowed. “Kyle –”

“I know it’s rude,” Kyle said. “I know I am being unfair, but you don’t understand, Alex.”

Alex took Kyle’s hand in his. “Then tell me.”

Kyle held his hand back weakly, a tear falling down his cheek. “You were not so cruel to them. The sight of them does not give _you_ guilt. They are so kind to me now, I cannot help but be reminded of the way I had behaved with them, so childishly.”

“Oh Kyle . . .”

“I used to believe that to _think_ of others was not the same as _feeling_ for others. But I was wrong. I see the way they care for you now, the way they admire and respect you.” He shook his head. “I thought that you felt nothing. But you do. I want to be more like you. I want to think more.”

Alex sighed, his heart bursting. He leaned down to kiss Kyle’s forehead, and tried not to think of the heat against his lips. “Then bear with me, a little while longer in London is all I ask.”

Kyle shut his eyes and nodded. “My only comfort now in staying,” he said, “is that you will at least have the chance to see Michael. Have you received word from him yet, he must be eager to see you?”

Alex’s hand tightened on Kyle’s. “Brother . . . I . . .”

“Is he all right?” Liz suddenly asked as she poked her head in.

“Is he hungry?” Arturo asked.

“Should I bring you the newspaper?” Max followed. “There is a rather funny story here about a thief who falls into a pub.”

Kyle smiled faintly, and Alex laughed. Perhaps the physician was right, and Kyle would be healed by morning.

However, morning came, and Kyle became all the harder to wake. His fever had gotten worse, and he was far more restless, and a lot less coherent. When the physician had come, the manor was in a state of panic. Alex watched as Bracken examined Kyle, and gave him enough medication to make him sleep.

“Best to keep him under observation,” the doctor said grimly. “I will stay here with him until nightfall. To the rest of you, you ought to get some sleep.”

But Alex would not sleep. He could not rest while Kyle called for their mother, called for Isobel, called for his brother. Alex changed the wet rag on Kyle’s forehead multiple times, changed the sheets, added more blankets from his own room. He prepared every meal, cleaned every bowl, and when the doctor had commanded he get some sleep, Alex merely went downstairs and sat in the drawing room, hands folded tightly in his lap, unable to think of anything but Kyle. Kyle, and the man that constantly haunted his mind, the man that – despite all logic – Alex wished was here now to hold him in these trying times.

Alex felt a warm hand on his head, and looked up to see Jenna looking down at him with concern. He moved to stand, but she would not allow it, taking a seat beside Alex, her hand covering both of his.

“How is he?” she asked softly.

Alex shook his head, rubbing his face. His eyes felt terribly heavy. “His fever is still high. It comes and goes. The physician says he needs a few days’ rest, but . . .”

“You worry,” Jenna finished, and Alex nodded.

“You can see him now, if you’d like.”

But Jenna was already shaking her head. “No, no, I – I fear I will not provide him much comfort. I actually came to speak to _you_ , Alex.”

“About what?”

Jenna took a deep breath. “We are friends, are we not? And for that reason, I hope you will understand that in the beginning, I only kept my silence because of Kyle’s happiness. Because I wanted to trust that he would be spared, that perhaps Isobel had changed.”

Alex frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“I hope you do not perceive what I am about to tell you as an attempt to garner Kyle’s affections, for I do not believe that you can force one to feel what they do not. I only hope to act as a friend, whose sole interest is to help Kyle move on, and be past this all.”

Alex took her hand in his. “Jenna, could this have something to do with the postponed trip to Whitwell all those months ago?”

Jenna nodded. “You see, Alex, I used to know Isobel when we were children. One could say we had once held great affection for one another.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “You two?”

“Yes,” her smile was small. “As you can see, we’ve grown into very different people. I fell in love with a man, and after I was married, Isobel was never the same. She cared for nothing and no one, she amused herself with any man or woman that would offer themselves to her, of which there were plenty. One of them, unfortunately, was my sister-in-law, Charlie.

“I warned Charlie of Isobel’s history with those who had fallen too quickly for her. In response, Charlie became angry with me and swore her undying loyalty and love for Isobel, spending her nights with friends I did not trust. After . . . after my husband died, Charlie was beside herself with grief. Isobel had not been willing nor prepared to care for her in such a way, and so Charlie ran away, brokenhearted. On the day that we were to go to Whitwell, I’d gotten word from Charlie herself, after _months_ of being unable to find her. I had to go, you see, to see my sister.”

Alex nodded encouragingly, and Jenna took another deep breath. “When I arrived to the inn where Charlie had been staying, she was intoxicated and out of her mind, barely coherent. She now rests with my mother-in-law in Northampton. I check in on her every now and then.” She turned in her seat to face Alex. “Please, believe me when I say that in my silence about Isobel’s past, I merely feared that history would repeat itself, and I wished for better for Kyle. I cannot say I succeeded, but I cannot think of any way for the heart to spare being broken, having tried both ways. If I have spoken out of turn, or disappointed you in me . . .”

Jenna’s words trailed off, for Alex was shaking his head. He pulled her in against his side and kissed her temple, his hand on hers tight.

“You, Jenna Cameron, are the greatest friend I have ever had,” he whispered against her hair.

Jenna tucked her head into the crook of Alex’s neck, and Alex rested his head on hers. Somehow, waiting here with someone so genuine, so kind, so caring – it made the wait more bearable. Alex was truly fortunate to have such a friend.

Jenna then shifted beside him, “Oh – er – hello,” she said. “Are you here to see Kyle?”

Alex looked up and found Michael standing in the doorway, staring at Alex and Jenna together, his expression unreadable.

“No,” he said quietly. “I am here for Alex.”

Alex tried to look away, but he could not. Michael’s bright eyes held him, the green turned to gold in the sunlight, and Alex _wished_ he could stop noticing such details in this man, wished his heart would stop racing in his chest at the sight and thought of him, wished the blood would stop rushing to his cheeks at the sound of his name on the man’s lips.

Jenna looked between them, then quietly said, “Ah, then I shall go speak to the physician.”

Alex nodded, feeling suddenly alone as her fingers left his. He watched her close the door behind her with a heavy heart, and when he looked back to Michael, he saw the man’s jaw was clenched, his eyes fixed on Alex’s face.

“You should not have come,” Alex said, turning his body away from Michael.

“Max told me what had become of Kyle,” Michael said. “I wanted to . . . to see that you were all right.”

“As you can see, I am perfectly all right,” Alex said. “It is my brother who suffers, not I.”

“You forbid comfort from me, but you allow it from _her_?”

“She is my friend,” Alex defended. “And the only one I trust.”

“ _Alex_ ,” Michael said, taking the seat beside Alex. “Please, look at me.”

Alex refused. “While I appreciate your consideration of me, I feel I should remind you how terribly _inappropriate_ it is to consider me at all.”

“If you would _only_ let me explain –”

“Explain what?” Alex asked. “That you hid a _woman_ from me? That you and Maria were engaged for years? That you made me believe you – you _loved_ me –”

“I _do_ love you,” Michael said desperately.

“ _Stop it_ ,” Alex stood. “How dare you say that to me? After everything you’ve done?”

“I have been in _agony_ without you, Alex,” Michael followed him. “I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot _think_ – I need you to _listen to me_ –”

“How can I trust a word you say now?” Alex said. “You _lied_ to me. Everything we had was based on nothing more than a lie of disloyalty!”

“I am loyal to _you_ , and no one else!”

“And your betrothed?” Alex demanded. He felt as if he were not in his body at all, but as if he was watching the scene before him, hearing someone else with his voice say these words. The truth, what he _wanted_ to say, what he _wanted_ to beg of Michael to do, filled him with shame.

“I cannot look at you,” he said, his hand on the door handle. “Please, Michael, just go.”

Alex opened the doors and was shocked to find Kyle on the other side, a blanket hanging off his shoulders, Jenna at his side, both of them pale and grim.

“K-Kyle –”

“What’s this I hear?” Kyle said quietly. “Michael and Maria are engaged?”

“You’re out of bed,” Alex said, unable to say anything else.

“Yes, I am,” Kyle said, turning his dark eyes to Michael who seemed frozen to the spot. “I heard Michael was here, and I asked Jenna to help me out of bed, to greet him. Instead, I come upon _this_.”

“I’m sorry,” Jenna shook her head at Alex. “I – I’m so sorry, I only wanted to help.”

“ _That_ , I believe,” Kyle said, his now glare turned to Alex. “ _You_ , on the other hand, I do not.”

He turned to leave, leaving Jenna with her hand covering her mouth. Alex took one step after his brother, calling for him, but Michael took his hand suddenly.

“Alex, wait –”

“Let go of me!” Alex pulled himself free, and followed Kyle up the stairs and into his room.

“Why?” Kyle demanded the moment Alex shut the door. “Why _lie_ to me? To _us_?!”

Alex stood still as Kyle moved around the room, his face red. “Please lie down, you’re going to tire yourself –”

“Forget _me_ , Alex, you led mother and I to believe that you were in love with Michael! And now you do this!”

“I _am_ in love with Michael,” Alex quietly confessed.

“He’s _betrothed_? To Maria? For how long?”

“Four years.”

“ _Four years_?! And you never thought to tell us? You talk to _me_ about feelings and controlling them, no matter how painful they may be, and how can I listen to you?! I was right, you feel _nothing_ , you clearly don’t care that the man you love is with someone else!”

Alex looked up, eyes burning. And it was then, as Alex looked into his brother’s eyes, that he realized that while he may lie to himself, he could never truly lie to Kyle. “You think I _don’t care_ that Michael and Maria are engaged? You think it hasn’t been _torturing_ me? You think I haven’t been forcing that down every waking moment, trying not to think of him and utterly _failing_ all the while?”

Kyle had now gone still, but it was Alex who could not stop moving, tears falling uncontrollably. “I have tried and _tried_ not to care, and I wish I could, but I can’t! Every breath I take feels as if it may be my last, I can think of nothing and _no one_ but him, and I miss him so terribly I feel the strength of it may kill me. But I cannot say this, I have to be strong, as I was taught, as a Manes man is, for _you_. So that you and mother don’t feel a _shred_ of the misery that I feel, but if you think, for one _moment_ , that I can know any kind of joy now, then I assure you, brother, that I am very, _very_ unhappy.”

Alex fell onto his bed, his shoulders shaking as he cried into his hands. He was very weary, so very empty that he felt as if he might cry himself dry. He felt the bed dip beside him, and a moment later, Kyle’s arm was around his shoulders, pulling Alex in against him.

“All this time,” Kyle said thickly, “you have been suffering. How could I not have noticed? How could I have left you so alone? You have given me your kindness and strength and love, and how terribly I have taken them for granted. I did not know what your strength was costing you.”

“Perhaps my sanity,” Alex whispered. “Perhaps you were right.” Another tear fell as Alex said, “I still love him. _So_ deeply. Perhaps I _am_ broken.”

“No!” Kyle said at once, as if shocked his brother could say such a thing. He took Alex’s face in his hands. “You are _not_ broken,” he said fiercely, wiping away Alex’s tears with his thumbs. “And you are _not_ what your father says you are. You are a man who cares and _loves_ , even if it is painful. _That_ is true strength.”

Alex sniffed, bringing an arm around Kyle’s waist, curling into his warmth. “When did you come to be so wise?”

Kyle hugged him tightly. “I had an excellent teacher.”

“Are you _certain_ you wish to leave so soon?” Liz asked desperately.

“There is but a week left of our voyage here,” Alex said. “And the physician’s agreed that Kyle would be much better off at the cottage with mother.”

“But he’s already improved so much!” Rosa said. “Perhaps a little time more in London –”

“Thank you all dearly for all you’ve done,” Kyle said, holding his coat tighter around his body, his cheeks still flushed. “But we miss our mother, and it would not be right to leave her to prepare for Christmas on her own.”

The others looked disappointed, but understanding.

“Take care of yourselves, then,” Arturo said, pulling them both in for a hug. “We shall all come see you in a week’s time for Christmas.”

The men nodded, and stepped into the carriage where Jenna was waiting. Once the door closed and they were off, Kyle turned to Jenna and said, “Thank you for providing us your carriage.”

“I hoped to leave London myself,” Jenna said. “The city has always been a bit much for me.”

Alex thought Kyle might retort rudely, or perhaps scoff at Jenna’s words. _London?_ he imagined Kyle saying. _A bit much? Are you mad?_

But as Kyle looked out the window at the passing buildings and shops, the dark grey sky and the many people walking the streets with their coats turned up against the wind, he said, “Yes, I suppose it can be.”

They rode in silence for a while longer before Kyle said, “Jenna.”

“Yes?” she seemed startled at being spoken to.

“I am glad you’re coming with us.”

Jenna stared, her cheeks quickly turning red. Kyle turned to look at her, and their eyes met for only a moment before she looked back towards the window. She cleared her throat and nodded, and Alex caught a soft smile at her lips.

He felt Kyle take his hand, and he sighed. The last time he had left London, he had felt conflict, grief, fear. Now, while he grieved, more of his questions came to place. London had never truly been his home, so he had not been terribly sorry to leave it. It was his family that he belonged to, not the city. Kyle’s warm fingers against his own was a reminder of that.

When the familiar hills of Devon began to make way, Alex felt the warmth of the day pour into the carriage, yet he could not ease the heavy weight in his chest. They had stopped by an inn, only to overhear a message to the innkeeper.

“Miss Maria DeLuca’s gotten married, she has!” the small messenger boy had said. “Eloped this morning, a great big scandal it was! Everyone’s heard about it!”

Everyone, evidently, except Alex, Kyle, and Jenna. Alex supposed Michael went and got married the moment Alex had turned him away. Breakfast, after that, had no taste, and Kyle and Jenna were quick to suggest that they leave at once. Alex accepted the offer instantly. But even now, as they rolled over the hill leading to their cottage, the carriage leaving prints in the fallen snow, and the sunlight glittering on the white ice like crystals, Alex could think of nothing else but the ceremony.

How could Michael ever willingly marry someone he so clearly did not love? Did he even know what true love was? Could it be that what he had felt for Alex was an illusion? Or had he truly been playing with Alex’s heart, hoping, as Isobel had, for nothing more than a bit of amusement?

Alex had been so trapped in his thoughts and fears that he did not realize that Kyle had been tugging on his sleeve, or that Jenna had been calling his name.

“What?” he finally asked when he noticed. “What is it?”

“Is that Michael?” Jenna asked, pointing out the window.

Alex frowned, and leaned over to check. He gasped. Standing there beside a horse, in front of their cottage, was Michael, his curls ruffled in the wind and his coat unbuttoned.

“What is _he_ doing here?” Kyle seethed. “Don’t worry, Alex, I won’t let him near you.”

“Why _would_ he be here, indeed?” Jenna asked.

“Probably expecting congratulations on his marriage, no doubt,” Kyle said.

“Alex,” Jenna said slowly while watching Michael, “I think you should speak to him.”

“Are you _mad_?” Kyle asked.

“I have a feeling about him, Kyle, I cannot place it.”

“But –”

“Won’t you trust me with Alex?” she asked, and Kyle’s mouth closed. “Won’t you trust that I care for him?”

Kyle looked between Jenna and Alex, then, “Alex. Do you _want_ to speak to him?”

Alex held his hands tightly together. The carriage had stopped, but they had yet to open the door. “I must. I . . . I want to. Is that foolish?”

“Yes,” Kyle said at once, and grinned begrudgingly. “And it is _about time_ you do something foolish.”

The door to the carriage opened, and the three stepped out. Kyle offered Jenna his elbow. “Come, Jenna, I would like to make you a cup of tea.”

Jenna accepted his arm with a small curtsey, and nodded once to Alex. As they opened the door to the cottage and stepped inside, Alex could not help but wonder why his mother had yet to come out excitedly. Then he caught her and Kyle both watching the scene unfold from the kitchen window. It was Jenna who finally came, to Alex’s relief, and closed the curtains, allowing Alex and Michael privacy.

“I take it you’ve heard the news?” Michael asked, his eyes bright and his tone cheery. Alex tried not to feel too hurt by it. Did Michael honestly expect Alex to be happy now?

“Yes, I – I have,” Alex said, looking down, for he could not bear Michael’s excited expression.

“You have,” Michael breathed a laugh, and took a step closer to Alex. Alex took a step back, confused. How could Michael still hope to touch him now? How could he be so cruel?

Michael’s smile faltered. “And you are still angry with me?”

Alex frowned. He was beginning to get angry. Goodness, was this what it felt like to be _Kyle_? “Did you think I would prefer to have you once you were a married man?”

“ _Married man_?” Michael’s eyes widened. “Where on earth have you gotten that from?”

“You . . .” Alex shook his head, “we discovered on our way here that you and Maria had married!”

“Me and – _no_! No, _Maria_ is married, not me!”

Alex stumbled back. “What?”

Michael caught Alex this time before he could move away, taking Alex’s face in his hands. “Maria is the one married,” Michael said, and broke off with another laugh. “To some bloke whose name I cannot bother to remember now.”

Alex felt a lump in his throat and his eyes burned. Michael’s hands on him were warm, Michael’s thumbs on his cheeks even warmer. “You’re . . . you’re not married?”

Michael shook his head, smiling. And Alex broke. A sob escaped his lips, and he covered his face with his hands, but not before he saw Michael’s expression fall completely.

“No, no, _please_ , my love, do not cry. We – we had only been children when we made that promise, neither of us having seen anything of the world! A _pretend_ promise that we had laughed about, I swear to you! Before I knew it, we had grown, and Maria had begun telling people that we were engaged to be married, and I could not stop her no matter how hard I tried! Then I fell so desperately in love with you, and I meant to warn you, to tell you that it meant nothing, that she was so grieved for her mother’s condition that she began creating this fantasy for us to live in. But none of it was real, we were never going to be married, I would never have allowed it, not when I had you.”

He kissed Alex’s hair, and pressed their foreheads together. “I could not risk her telling anyone else, and ruining your good name for an engagement that _never existed_! So I went with her and Isobel to London, and I spent ages begging her to release me from this lie. Little did I know that she was quickly falling in love with another man, and only yesterday, did I hear that they had eloped! I went to see Max, but he told me you had left back to Devon. I took any horse I could get my hands on, and rode here as quick as I could. I had to see you, to _tell_ you how much I love you. That my heart has always been, and will always be, _yours_.”

Alex lowered his hands, clutching the front of Michael’s coat tightly. “Y-You were never engaged?” he cried.

“No,” Michael breathed, wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist tightly.

“You’re really not married?”

“ _No_.”

Alex inhaled sharply before he pulled Michael down, kissing him desperately, urgently, every touch from Michael like wildfire across his skin. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

He could vaguely hear happy cries from inside the cottage, but all he could think of were Michael’s hands on his waist, pulling him in closer until their bodies were pressed tightly together. Michael’s moans, Michael’s warmth, Michael’s lips. He was all Alex’s, and Alex’s heart nearly tore itself with the strength of his love for this man.

Perhaps Alex did not always feel as others did, but when he loved, he loved enough to burn the world with it. He thought even Kyle could be proud of that.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://pastelwitchling.tumblr.com/)


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